Ultimate Blog Party 2011 - Get Your Fake Party On

Welcome to Tales from the Motherhood and Confessions of a Former Childhood Actress . . .

Last year I gave up on having a real social life and decided to attend a virtual blog party. Totally weird - especially because it was actually kind of fun. I'm still trying to catch up on sleep from last year's fake rager.

Let's cut to the chase virtual people . . .

1. If you don't really give a rip about me or my blog or my dirty minivan and just want a prize, then scroll down and see how easy it is for you to win $100 gift card to Amazon and a copy of my book Totally Desperate Mom: Keepin' it Real in the Motherhood.

2. If you have money falling from the sky and use gift cards as mere bookmarks and are simply looking for a little love and affirmation by way of people commenting on your blog then scroll down and leave me a comment. I will visit your blog and leave you a comment even if it's only "Do you come here often?" Do you really need more than that?

But if you really like to virtual party and read blogs then allow me to introduce myself.

My name is Wendy, otherwise known as the Totally Desperate Mom. Not desperate like Desperate Housewives, but desperate to be the best mom to my Elijah (7), Lydia (almost 5), and Jordis (2 1/2).

Desperate to be an awesome wife to my man Shiloh. We have been married almost 13 years.

Every 13 years I get my hair and makeup done and this is what I look like. But a lot of days I look more like this:

I usually like my husband, but sometimes I don't. Like when I'm hormonal and pregnant and we are on our 10-year anniversary trip and he calls me Fatty Arms. Oops. I pay him back for that comment by telling women about it when I speak at women's events or MOPS groups. You can hear the whole story here:

I'm a Totally Desperate Mom cuz my almost 5 year-old, strong-willed daughter still pees her pants on a regular basis "just a little bit". My 2 1/2 year-old is newly potty trained and copies everything her sister does . . . just a little bit.

I am a Totally Desperate Mom cuz it is hard to keep up with laundry, dishes, cleaning up cat throw up, and homework. And when I let the homework go unattended it looks like this:

I am a Totally Desperate Mom because I do not sew or make fancy crafts, but I like admiring that junk on other people's blogs.

I am a Totally Desperate Mom cuz sometimes I have MBDs (mental breakdown days) and just need a break.

I am a Totally Desperate Mom cuz motherhood is the hardest, best job in the world.

You feel me?

So a lot of days I blog about that stuff. Honest, raw, hilarious, gross, classic stuff from the motherhood. You'll probably leave feeling better about yourself. And if you think you don't have room for more blogs in your life you might just want to check in here around Christmas time. Cuz that's when I post my family's worst family photos. I mean, who doesn't enjoy feeling better about themselves by seeing OPU (Other People's Ugly)?

And if you are up for a little random in your life . . . Wednesdays I post about my experiences as a child/teen actress.

Here's the snapshot into that action:

When I was 9 years old I looked in the yellow pages, called an agent, and left a message on their answering machine. Unbeknownst to my parents. That started my acting career which eventually led me to Hollywood after starring in numerous national commercials and print jobs in the San Francisco Bay Area. When I was 14, I got a starring role on the syndicated series The New Lassie. Moved to Hollywood, lived with friends of the family, filmed 48 episodes of the show at Universal Studios, guest starred in some other shows, and didn't go night clubbin' with my mom . . . or anyone else.

Here is a clip from The Wonder Years when I guest starred as Kevin's annoying and overbearing girlfriend, Julie Aidem:

And here are a few pics from my Hollywood days:
Circus of the Stars in 1990 with Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Jocelyn Peden

With Paul Walker

With a bunch of other young actors. Jason Marsden (red shirt), Christina Nigra (awesome neon cowgirl), and David Moscow (behind the tree in a sweet Gotcha sweatshirt) all did guest posts for me. And I have recently re-connected with Alyson Hannigan (baggy purple, green, and navy blue shirt) who I met on the Lassie audition over 22 years ago!

I left Hollywood and returned to my hometown so I could have a normal senior year of high school. Went on to UCLA, met my husband, got married, worked in real estate, taught group exercise classes, had some kids (including one sweet baby girl named Faith who ditched us for heaven after 4 days with us).

Last year, in a moment of temporary insanity I decided to write Totally Desperate Mom: Keepin' it Real in the Motherhood. Humor and encouragement for moms with little ones. When you are not busy fake parting, you can read the first chapter to see if it's worth your time. If you like it, you can buy it directly through me, on Amazon, or request it at your local Christian bookstore.

Speaking of Christian bookstores, I love Jesus. I don't blog about spiritual stuff a lot, but every now and then I bring it. You've been warned.

Congratulations if you survived that long post. You sure know how to party. Or maybe you are just really good at scrolling fast to get to the goods. Either way, you have some skillz.

Here is how to win a $100 gift card to Amazon.

1. Leave a comment. Any ol' comment will do. But I would love to hear if we have anything in common or a random fact about yourself and a link to your blog. Make sure I have a way to contact you if you are a winnner.

2. Follow this blog publicly. Don't be ashamed. Then leave a comment letting me know you did.

3. Follow me on Twitter. Then leave a comment letting me know you did. And just so you know, chances are good that I won't automatically follow you back. Here's why. Nothing personal.

4. Become a fan/liker of Totally Desperate Mom on facebook. Then leave a comment letting me know you did. Don't worry I won't clutter up your facebook page with a bunch of lame status updates. Only a few here and there. But I promise you - they will be lame.

5. Good for three entries: Purchase a copy of Totally Desperate Mom through my website or on Amazon and then leave 3 comments letting me you did. If you have already purchased a book just leave 3 comments letting me know you did. You won't be sorry because even if you don't like the book you can pass it along as a baby shower gift for someone else who you don't really like, but felt obligated to attend her baby shower. Or you could let your child use it as a coloring book or practice using scissors on it. So versatile.

*If after a month if this blog bores you, or you actually never read it, or my tweets bug - feel free to drop kick me in a month. I don't want to force you to be in this relationship under prize-induced duress.

Get your entries in by April 8th by 9pm PST. I will announce the winner on April 9th.

Head on over to 5 Minutes for Mom to further participate in this virtual partying! There are more prizes. I even threw in a $100 gift card to Target over there.