Here's the problem with Kodak moments. They're moments. Glimpses in time. And we choose which glimpses of to unveil to the public. And now with digital cameras, we can take a million pictures and display only those that reflect our very best. A photo of sweet Lydia with her adoring Grandma looking down at her. Our best side, good hair days, cute outfits, unblemished faces. And best of all we can capture our happy, clean, funny, obedient children as they learn and grow ever so gracefully. Kodak moments no more! It's time for the Hagen's to air the dirty laundry. LITERALLY. For those of you that do not have children and are planning to do so, you may not want to read (OR LOOK!) any further.
Yes, that's right folks. You are viewing the aftermath of a superduper pooper Lydia blowout. Biggest of her 5 month life. I am just thankful it did not happen on the plane... like it did with Elijah. Let me digress here for a minute. Have planes shrunk because I am certainly not getting any taller and there is barely room to sit on an airplane? I am 5'1" and my legs are about 5 inches long and I am cramped on the plane. Where has the leg room gone? On Aloha airlines it certainly has not gone to the aisle space. I literally had to side step my way down the aisle to the bathroom as not to take out my fellow passengers' appendages. I may have childbearing hips, but shoooooot.. they are not that big!? Then the guy in front of me inevitable reclines into my lap child (sorry Lydia) and it makes for a cozy 5 hour flight. Anyway, I digress. Let's get to to the blowout.
We woke up the kids at 5am on Saturday, Oct. 21st and headed to the Oakland airport. Actually, the kids did great. It wasn't Elijah's fault that he had to pee 2 gallons of pee and that it exceeded the maximum capacity for his diaper. It wasn't his fault that Mom did not bring a change of clothes for him on the plane. Fortunately, Mom did pack a lightweight blanket for Lydia that Dad craftilly turned into a toga.
While Dad got the rental car, I waited curbside with the kids. I held Lydia ever so close to me in the Baby Bjorn carry.
Finally Dad arrived with the minivan only have to pass us by and circle around 3 more times because there was no room for him to stop because of the 2 cars that had been parked curbside for 15 minutes! One guy was waiting in his car reading a book while the security guard (who HAD to be in his 80s, if not 90s) strolled on by. I guess "no waiting at the curb" or terror alert "Orange" does not apply in Hawaii. So Shiloh finally pulled up and started to load all the goods - including 2 bags that exceeded the 50 pound limit so we had to redistribute items to make the cut when we checked in. And he is not in a good mood despite the fact that we got a great deal on the rental car. Apparently, if you have not learned this yet, you get what you pay for. The first van that the lady at Alamo gave him was filthy inside. And if you know Shiloh ... let's put it this way, he still thinks "Cleanliness is next to godliness" is in the Bible. So he got another van (not that much cleaner) and came to get his wife and kids and overweight belongings. I unclip the bjorn only to find that Lydia has had the biggest poop (yes people, that's baby poop, not throw up) of her life. All over her onesie and all over the bjorn and all over my hands. (Shiloh has not touched me since.) And I thought it was hilarious! Especially after toga boy. Did I mention that Shiloh was in a bad mood? I begged him to get the camera and take a photo of Lydia's post-volcanic incident. Wouldn't do it. In fact, before he could tell me to throw the outfit in the trash as I knew he would, I said I am not throwing this onsie away. You can't tell from my Lydialess photo of the onsie, but it is such a cute onsie and it is part of a 3-piece out fit (thanks Linda Lenertz). Great potential for a future Kodak moment. So Shiloh packed up the car while I dealt with the poop carnage and off we went to the Kea Lani Hotel. Can't complain about that. We came here with my parents for the Coldwell Banker Northern California Top 1% trip. The weather has been beautfiul. Elijah has made 40 new friends of all ages and creeds including several of the hotel staff.
I don't know about you, but I think I have inspired myself. When I get home I am going to find all the unflattering photos of my family and post them.
Keep it real peeps.