I Wasn't Born in Daddy's Tummy

Pin It Now!

Last week while I was have lunch with some of my high school girlfriends, I was missed. I have proof because this conversation took place between my husband and my six-year-old.
Lydia: Where's mommy?
Shiloh: Out with friends having fun.
Lydia: I need her.
Shiloh: Why?
Lydia: I wasn't born in daddy's tummy.

Preach it sister.

Pin It Now!

Be a Fan

I Love this Age

Pin It Now!

I'm 34 years old.

Jordis is 13 months old.

And yes, she too will enjoy some dental work in the near future.

Pin It Now!

Be a Fan

Star Wars Helmet for the Homeless

Pin It Now!
Elijah and I were cleaning up the playroom living room . I asked him where he wanted me to put his Clone Trooper helmet since is it so huge. Then I said, "You're not really into Star Wars much these days. How about if we give this to someone else?"

He said, "Okay. Let's give it to a homeless person." Bless his heart.



Food? Shelter? No thanks, but I'll take a Clone Trooper helmet.

I didn't want to crush him so I said gently, "Well, I don't know if any homeless people are going to want to cart this around."

A light bulb went off in his head, "Let's send it to Anthony in Kenya!" Another practical idea. The kid really has a heart of gold.

If you know any local homeless or poor people that are looking for a helmet that says "Cover Me!" "Sir - wer're taking heavy fire." "All clear general." "All units - fire at will!" "The mission always comes first sir!" "I'm on my way." "We've got you've outnumbered!" "Green light. GO! GO! GO!" "I've got a baaaad feeling about this sir." "Copy that sir." "All gunships holding at a safe distance."
... let me know. May the force be with you.

Pin It Now!

Be a Fan

Our Very Own Napoleon Dynamite

Pin It Now! Got tater tots in your pocket, Elijah? Not quite, but something equally as awesome.

After I tucked him in I saw him turn away as if he was hiding something.

"What's in your mouth?"

He opened and showed me the piece of ice he was sucking on... that he got out of his nightstand.

Pin It Now!

Be a Fan

"I Wish I Had Brown Skin"

Pin It Now! Elijah's latest love is basketball. It started during preschool. On the playground. Four year olds assembling teams and everything. Elijah and his Blue Room boys were "The Warriors."

The other day I got "Space Jam" at the library. Now Elijah hearts Michael Jordan. In fact he wants to be like Mike.

Elijah: Mom, I wish I had brown skin. Do you know why?

Mom: No, why?

Elijah: Because Michael Jordan has brown skin.

Then he showed me his skin and said that it was kind of brown. And that Michael's wasn't really that brown. Their skin tones were, in fact, really close.

I didn't have the heart to tell him that that would never be. We are as white as they come. Tan is not really in our vocab even if we laid out in the sun all day long.

Elijah and Mike (as we call him) may not be close in skin color, but my Mom bought Elijah some Air Jordan shoes. So now they are like blood brothers. Here is Elijah practicing his Jordan moves.

And this is his Air Jordan outfit. He came down and asked me if he had gray shorts. Apparently, this is one of Michael's looks.

Pin It Now!

Be a Fan

"I know why my teeth are yellow"

Pin It Now!


The other day after Elijah had supposedly already brushed his teeth I decided to verify his story and checked out his teeth. "You're teeth are looking a little yellow," I told him as I pulled his lip over his nose, inspected his pearly not-so-whites and brushed away furiously.

"So are yours," he replied ever so innocently. Then he said, "I know why mine are yellow."

"You do? Why?"

"Because I eat my ear wax. And my eye boogies."

I about fell over and died right there.

"ELIJAH! That is so disgusting. So gross. Don't ever do that again!"

"It tastes really good," he says with his little boy grin.

"Aghh. Elijah don't do that. That can make you sick."

"It can?"

"Yes."

I tried not to over react, but I was dying inside. I wanted to call Poison Control or 911.

Later that day I wanted to be sure that he knew that ear was and eye crusties were not an option for snacking.

"Elijah, you know not to ever eat your ear wax and eye boogies again right?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Because... because.... it is just so gross and disgusting!"

"Is that it? Is that the only reason?" he said as if that would not be enough to stop him.

A million responses scurried across my brain. But they were all lies. I thought of telling him that it could kill him, but I thought that might be too extreme. I had already told him it could make him sick and I am not really sure if that's entirely true.

So I opted for the ol' answer the question with a question. I didn't want him to think that "because it's gross" was the only reason so I said, "Isn't that reason enough?"

My lovely boy responded with a resounding, "Nope.

In hindsight, I could have told him that if he continued that kind of behavior he would have no friends in school and would end up living by himself in a shack in the mountains with 166 cats. Oh well. There's always tomorrow.

Pin It Now!

Be a Fan

sleeping children

Pin It Now!
Does it get any better than sweet, sleeping children?
Pin It Now!

Be a Fan

lady bugs

Pin It Now!
Elijah had just come home from preschool with his lady bug artwork when he found a lady bug in our yard.
You'd think he discovered a wad of gum or a golden ticket.
"Mommy, can we have a lady bug party?"
"When? Right now?"
"Yeah."
"Sorry. I don't think we could get everyone here on such short notice."
He manhandled, I mean, he played with lady bug for quite some time. Here is some footage.

.

Then he asked me the inevitable. "Can we take the lady bug inside? Can I keep it?"

I was torn. Honestly, I love animals. In fact, the other night Shiloh told me that Deuteronomy 22:1-3 reminded me of him. "How sweet," I thought to myself before looking it up. It must be some verse about an awesome wife or godly woman or spectacular Mom or something like that, right? Wrong. Here is the verse:
"If you see your brother's ox or sheep straying, do not ignore it but be sure to take it back to him. If the brother does not live near you or if you do not know who he is, take it home with you and keep it until he comes looking for it. Then give it back to him. 3 Do the same if you find your brother's donkey or his cloak or anything he loses. Do not ignore it."
Huh. Not what I was dreaming of, but not bad either. I am pretty sure he was nicely mocking my animal return policy. Whenever I see a stray dog, I try to get it into our backyard and track down the owner. Or I make a leash and go door to door. I have done this on many occasions in our neighborhood. It works out well considering Shiloh is afraid of dogs. Actually that's not true. He is only afraid of the ones with mouths. But I digress... back to the lady bug.

So the thought of couping the lady bug up in a plastic container or jar made me feel bad for the little fella. Seriously. If you were a free roaming lady bug, where the world was your oyster, would you want to go Ziplock? No! You'd want to be out hunting oysters. Plus, how do you keep the bug alive? Sure, you can throw some leaves in there, but how would the lady bug get hydrated? I kid you not. These thought went through my head. But I decided not to be a killjoy or a killladybug and told Elijah we could bring Mr. Lady Bug inside... for an hour. We went inside and Elijah exclaimed,
"I get to keep the lady bug! I get to keep the lady bug - for an Ho-ur!" Repeat phrase over and over.

This was the lady bug's crib.


Few more days and there would have been three jackets and a pink glove in there. A DLBH (dirty lady bug home). We did release him after the hour was up. I asked Elijah what the best part of having the lady bug was.
"Holding him. Holding Him. (Now singing) Holding him was the funnest part!"

Ah, to be a kid again and really enjoy the simple things. Pin It Now!

Be a Fan

The Failed Interview

Pin It Now! I had a good conversation the other night with Elijah regarding the job of a Mom. I asked him, "What do Moms do?" "What did he think was most important to me?" "What was the best part about being a Mom?" (Incidentally, he answered, "Having babies." I guess he has never seen a Mom in labor, but he hears his mom puking all the time, so I am not sure where that answer came from. I had to clear that one up for him.) And a few more. His answers were precious.

So I tried to recreate the interview on camera on Mother's Day. He told me I could only ask him two questions (as per his manager and publicist). He was not in the mood since he had already sung me my Mother's Day song. So here are the uncut results of the interview. Elijah - RAW, UNCENSORED:



And here are some cool pics of Lydia I took on Saturday.


Pin It Now!

Be a Fan