Jordis Has an Accent

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The other day in the car:
Elijah: I can hear that Jordis has an accent.
Me: What kind of an accent?
Elijah: Like someone who lives on a farm.
Jordis: I DIDN'T HAVE AN ACCIDENT!

**Personally, I think her accent usually sounds like it is of the Boston variety, but she changes it up from time to time.

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Happy New Year and Hair Product

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Happy New Year and can anyone recommend some good hair product for a three-year-old?

For real.

Morning Hair.

Hair after mom brushed it.

Hair and makeup after self-makeover.

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A Princess Story, By Lydia

Pin It Now! Lydia wrote this story. Thank you Barbie and princess shows. And thanks to me for letting her watch them. Future counseling required (for me and her).





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Harder Than Being a Navy Guy?

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The other day was a doozy in the motherhood. Elijah, my seven-year-old, knew it.

This was our conversation in the car:

"Mom, is it hard being a mom?"

"What do you think?"

"I don't know. I've never been a mom."

"Yes, Elijah. It is. Some days are harder than others and today was a hard one. But it is the greatest job in the world and totally worth it. But it is also the hardest job in the world."

"Harder than being a navy guy who gets killed?"

Well crud. You got me. Thanks a lot kid.

Happy Memorial Day!

Thank you to all those military folks who make being a mom look easy.

-----

Stay tuned for "Shop for Jop!" Working on that post and all the little details.

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I Can Control Poop

Pin It Now! Shiloh overheard the girls talking yesterday.

Lydia the 4 1/2 year old to Jordis the 2 1/2 year old:

Jordis I can defeat death. I'm a princess though. I can control fire and water.

Jordis:

I can control poop.*

And that my friends sums up why I love being a totally desperate mom. You just can't make this stuff up. Well you can but it wouldn't be nearly as funny.

*Note: This may have been a dig on Lydia who clearly cannot control her poop. Or maybe she can . . . you be the judge.

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Give Your Favorite Thing Away

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The other day Lydia and I had this conversation:

Mom: What is your favorite thing to play with of all the toys and games you have?

Lydia: They're all my favorite. I like all of them.

Mom: My favorite thing is . . . exercise.

Lydia: Well then you have to give it away. Because when it's your favorite thing then you have to give it away.

For the blogging record and for the good of motherhood kind, I have never asked her what her favorite thing is and then given it away. We do go through her stuff together and figure out what she doesn't really play with and what we can give away. And of course, she is always eager to give away all of Jordis or Elijah's toys.

A few days after this incident of hilariousness I told her to pick up some of her toys. She was not quick to respond. I then told her to pick up her toys or I would throw them in the trash. And I was ready to. But so was she. Lydia picked up the toys right away, walked them to the trash can, and tossed them in the can herself. Don't mess with Lydia and pray for me.

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Homeschool

Pin It Now! I don't homeschool my kids, but maybe I should. Because I teach them a lot of things. And they do a great job of taking it out and applying it in real life situations.

For example, in the car yesterday Elijah and I had a conversation about Asian hair. I don't remember how the subject came up, but I told him that Asians have dark hair. Then we talked specifically about some friends, "You know so and so who is chinese? What color is his hair? You know so and so who is Korean, what color is her hair?" Then I told him that our friend Daniel was coming over that night and he is Korean and he has dark hair. Then Elijah asked me if Grandpa was Chinese. I had to explain that not everyone who has dark hair is Asian. Lydia and Jordis were in the car too, but did not participate in the conversation. I later learned that Lydia was soaking it all in.

That night Daniel (Korean) and his wife Jessica (white, but with brown hair) were over for dinner. Jessica threw Lydia up in the air and caught her. Lydia laughed and then said to Jessica, "You're like Chinese!"

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Knock Knock Joke by Lydia

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Lydia: Knock Knock?

Mom: Who's there?

Lydia: Banana.

Mom: Banana who?

Lydia: Finneus baarn stac ne eh cook.

Mom: What's that mean?

Lydia: "I don't know. That's my French."

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Do you Know Michael Jordan?

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If you know my family or have been reading this blog for the last few months you know that my 5 year old son, Elijah, is quite taken with Michael Jordan. It all started after I checked out "Space Jam" from the library. Ever since then Elijah has got Michael Jordan on the brain. He wears basketball clothes just about every single day. His favorite is his Jordan jersey that I got for him on Ebay. He worked on his Michael Jordan poster for weeks. He constantly asks me to print out MJ pics from the internet and he cuts them out and tapes them around the house. And the front door thank you very much. He is always asking Shiloh and I questions about Michael Jordan. Sometimes we have to say "Enough talking about Michael Jordan today." We had a talk with him about idolatry. He got all sweet and sensitive and teary eyed, "I know Mom. I worship God. He is more important than Michael Jordan." My Mom got him some Air Jordans and Elijah now stores all his pictures and such in the shoebox. He is storing them for his Michael Jordan birthday party. His birthday is in January.

He said he wanted to invite Michael to his birthday party. So we wrote him this letter. Don't be deceived by the awesome handwriting. I know it looks like a first grader's pennmenship, bit it's mine. Elijah dictated this to me. Word for word.

He also wanted to send a photo album's worth of pics for Mike.

I have tried to tell Elijah that Michael probably won't be able to come to the party. Since he lives far away and is really busy (And we don't have $100,000. Just guessing that's his going rate for corporate events and such). But that has not deterred him from inviting our big boy neighbors (ages 12-23) and telling people that Michael might come to his party.

So help a mother out, would ya? Does anyone have connections to Michael? If so, please pass along the link to this post.

Dear Michael,

We can celebrate Elijah's birthday in a week or in January or any day of the year. Please let us know when you're going to be in the Northern California. We would love to have you at Elijah's party. But we could also come to you. We're nice like that. I can pay you in baked good and homemade posters.

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I Believe I Can Fly

Pin It Now! And with Elijah's passion for all things Michael Jordan comes "I Believe I Can Fly."

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Switchfoot Boy Recovers

Pin It Now! Do you remember this video of Elijah the Switchfoot fan? Shiloh went to a Switchfoot concert without him. I knew he would be bummed. I knew his reaction would be classic when we told him about it. I knew that CPS could not arrest me for this.



For those of you that wanted to report me to CPS and were worried about the long term damage caused by this footage... I think he's gonna be okay. And I think his sister is hilarious.


For the record, we did take him to a Switchfoot concert when he was two. We even had to drive four hours to the armpit of the world BAKERSFIELD for that concert. He got to meet the whole band.

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A Beautiful Wedding in Tracy?

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We had an awesome weekend that began with a wedding of two of our dear friends, Kevin and Trisha. Kevin is a Bruin alumni and one of Elijah's best friends. His now wife, Trisha, is also dear to our family. She loves our kids and we love her.

They got married at a beautiful property in Tracy. Yeah, you read that right. A beautiful property in Tracy. It exists. Sorry to our Tracy friends (like The Francis Family), but even they trash their homeland.

Elijah and Lydia were in the wedding.

On Thursday night we attended the rehearsal. Lydia had grumpy bugs and did not want to walk down the aisle. I asked the kids what kind of bribery they wanted to not ruin the wedding. Elijah quickly responded, "Two dollars!" (He is saving up for a Michael Jordan jersey). Easy enough.

"Lydia, what do you want?" I asked knowing full well that it would involve pink, princesses and/or ponies.
"Three dollars!" she exclaimed as if she even knew what three dollars was good for.
Wow. She's brighter than I thought.


She was in a good mood the night of the wedding and performed her flowery duties (although she only tossed one petal) accordingly.

I can't say the same for little Josh, one of the other ring bearers. He ran back down that aisle screaming for his Mom. She must not have offered him three bucks.

The theme of the wedding was "All You Need is Love." Jordis enjoyed reading the program during the ceremony.

I classed Elijah's outfit up Elijah's wedding attire by writing on his wife beater with a sharpy.

And as usual, we got a family photo where all parties were smiling and looking at the camera.

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Our Very Own Napoleon Dynamite

Pin It Now! Got tater tots in your pocket, Elijah? Not quite, but something equally as awesome.

After I tucked him in I saw him turn away as if he was hiding something.

"What's in your mouth?"

He opened and showed me the piece of ice he was sucking on... that he got out of his nightstand.

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Just Bad Creators

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Elijah: "They said a bad word in Scooby Doo. Do you want me to tell you what it is?"
Mom: "Yeah."
Elijah (whispers in my ear): "Stupid."
Mom: "I don't know why they put all these bad words in these kids' shows."
Elijah: "Just bad creators." Pin It Now!

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Mom, You're Looking Hot

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The other day...

"Mom, you're looking really hot. You look hot."

"What do you mean "hot"? Like I need to jump in the pool because it is so hot?"

"You're hot."

"You mean hot, like cute?

"Yeah, like you're looking fancy."

We have been marveling over the fact that Elijah has his first loose tooth. Then he pulls out, "I remember when I was just one years old. I remember it like it was just yesterday." And if you are wondering why Elijah looks so "hot" in this pic... he had 2 teeth pulled today. Then we went to the park and he got stung by a bee on his thumb. All and all, a great day for my little buddy.

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Worst day of the kid's life

Pin It Now! We were at Disneyland and California Adventure the last several days. Every kid's dream right? Tons of rides, sugar, shows, family time, princesses, etc. On Father's Day I took Elijah and Lydia to two shows (Disney's playhouse and Aladdin) at California Adventure.

I also took Elijah on Soaring over California. He made a Mickey pizza for lunch.

He got to watch Scooby Doo on my laptop while Lydia took her semi annual nap and Jordis crawled around with food stuck to her cheek.

After all of this we walked to the car. It was about 1/4 mile jaunt. While we were walking Elijah kept complaining, "I can't keep up. You are walking too fast. My legs are tired." Funny how they never get tired while walking from show to ride to ride to character to show to ride in the parks. But somehow those legs know when there is not a great adventure in the immediate future and they start to malfunction. Kind of like the starvation that happens immediately before bedtime.

Then Elijah said as he hobbled along, "This is the worst day of my life." Shiloh and I just started cracking up. We felt like great parents. A day full of shows, a flight over California (with a fast pass) and a little exercise - worst day ever. Wonder what a good day looks like.

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I Taught My Daughter How to Puke

Pin It Now! I have heard it said that it is not so much what you say to your children, but how you live your life. They will model their behavior after you rather than listen/follow what you say. Lydia clearly illustrated this principle back when I was pregnant with Jordis and puking daily. If she has learned nothing else from me, I am so proud that she learned to model this behavior.

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You don't have to shower on Mother's Day

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I told Shiloh that I would give Elijah a bath and then I was going to take a shower (after time in the hot tub all by my big girl, Mother's day self). As I was getting the bath ready for Elijah he asked me, "Mom, have you taken a shower yet?" 

"No, I'm gonna take one after you."

"That's okay Mom. You don't need to take a shower."

"Why not?"

"Because it's Mother's Day."

Huh, I never knew that. 

Happy Mother's Day. Cheers to all the dirty Moms out there who don't need to take a shower today.

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Bossy Lydia

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My Mom has always said that I came out of the womb giving orders. I never really understood what she meant...until Lydia.




"Mommy, I have two ice creams do you want some?"
"Which one do you want white or pink?"
"Pink."
"No, I am having pink and you are having white."


"Mommy, do you want to dance with me?"
"Have you finished your snack yet?"
"no."
"Finish your snack and then I'll dance with you."
Whining "Mommy, I don't wannnna dance."

After Shiloh told Lydia that she was Jordis's favorite big sister Lydia said,
"If there is another baby in mommy's tummy. Pull her out."

I think she is about ready to potty train (but I'm not). She came over to me (in her diaper) and said, "Mom, there is something coming out of my bootie! And it's poo!" Thanks for sharing Lyds. And you're thinking, "No, thank YOU Wendy for sharing!"

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