Sunday, December 03, 2006

Is There More to My Life Than Poop?

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Is There More to My Life Than Poop?

Don't be deceived by the sweet Christmas photo of the kids on Santa's lap. Or the happy young lad who gleefully erects a gingerbread house with his adoring Father. It's really not like that here at the Hagen house. Look a little closer. Look into the eyes of the boy in the Christmas sweater. The eyes that are saying, "I will poop when and where I want to."

So we are potty training Elijah. Started just after Thanksgiving. He was all fired up for it. He gets 3 nerds or 2 skittles or 2 jelly bellies after he does his business (pathetic huh? I need at least a large chocolate chip cookie or brownie). First 4 days were great! He quickly reached the goal of dry all day in order to receive his costo Hummer. "It has been so easy." I bragged to friends and family. And it was all down here from there. He was at the Stokes house for only an hour. Danika came in the playroom to find him playing with toys next to his buddy, Owen. Oh yeah, his pants were around his ankles. Elijah had peed on Owen's chair. After a few words with me on the phone Elijah casually apologized, "Sorry Danika. Sorry Owen. My mistake." Yeah right, buddy. And then he did it again in their living room. I thought I had seen the worst of it. I was wrong.
Shiloh and I were trying to watch UCLA whoop on USC when Elijah comes running out of his room with his pants down, "I have to go potty."

And before you go thinking, "Well, that's what you get for ignoring him to watch the game." Not the case. That's what I am doing right now in order to write this blog entry. Shiloh took Elijah to the pot and asked him, "Did you already go potty in your room?"
"No, I did not go potty." Then about a minute later, "I just went pooh in my room."
I hear this conversation and take off to go survey the scene. As I pass by the bathroom I say, "Elijah, you'd better be lying or you're going to be in big trouble." Now that's good parenting. Elijah's room looks like a crime scene, BECAUSE IT IS. Apparently, the perpetrator had pooped his pants, removed them and then attempted to get rid of the evidence by wiping his back side in about 10 different places in the carpet. And if that was not enough, he tried to dress it all up by finger painting on his mirrored closet doors. After about an hour of deep cleaning and 2 rolls of paper towels, I could see no visible evidence of the incident. But you can imagine the sweet aroma that lingered. After hazmat came and cleaned up the perp we put him in timeout. Within minutes he fell asleep (see the pic). Some punishment. I wish someone would put me in a timeout...for a long time. And by the way, the images you are about to see are graphic and are not intended for all audiences. Parental Discretion is advised.

Halloween was fun. Elijah traded in his candy and got a toy - a new set of play dough and tools to go with it. He was a "motorcyle driver" NOT a race car driver. I am sure Lydia loved being dressed up like piglet. Don't all babies love being paraded around on Halloween and being forced to take pictures all day long?

We went to Reno for Thanksgiving to be with all the cousins (on my Dad's side of the family). It was great to see everyone.

And lastly for the November update, I did stand-up comedy at Tommy T's. My girlfriend (Sara Terprsta) called and told me about a contest they were having there called "Funniest Mom in America." It is a show on Nick at Night where they go to clubs in 32 cities looking for funny mamas. Three minutes on stage. They video tape it and send it to the show and they pick moms to go to the next round. The winner gets $50,000. Won't know until end of December if I made it to the next round or not. I'm not looking for a career in stand-up, but I have to admit I had a good time. And here's the funny thing, my main story, which is a postpartum one, was about poop. GROSS! But it made people laugh ... at me. Maybe there ISN'T more to my life than poop...

But wait!!! There is!!! I want to tell you about the awesome things God is doing in my life and at my church right now. As I mentioned in a previous blog, I am a fan of the book "Blue Like Jazz." It really made me think about my Christian life, how I spend my time, my money. How I love others (or fail to), how I serve others (or fail to). It made me think about my own selfishness in contrast to the life of Christ. I am currently reading a book about U2's Bono.
From reading this book, I gather that Bono is a Christian. He seems to think deeply and care deeply about the things that would concern Christ. Specifically, he has done a lot of work in bringing attention and finances to the AIDS pandemic, specifically in Africa. Did you know that 6500 Africans are dying everyday to AIDS (that is two 9/11's a day!)? He argues that because these people are African, we are letting it happen. Where is the equality of all people, regardless of where they were born? The value of human life. God is making me mindful of these things. At church today, Pastor Steve announces the upcoming direction of our church. We are going to reach people in the East Bay that have AIDS. We are going to reach out to them, care for them, minister to them and welcome them to our church. Without question. I LOVE IT! AND speaking of equality, we are also going to reach out to Latino population in our area. We are going to provide, live Spanish translation to our services. And during the week we are going to have free English classes. I LOVE IT! We are also going to get behind a program called "Teen Esteem." Teen Esteem is a non-profit organization that equips, educates and empowers teens, parents, educators and the community on issues related to teens and adolescent health. Our message is focused on risk avoidance and building healthy relationships. That is a quote from their website. In other words, they go into the schools in our area and talk about sex.
AND lastly, for Christmas this year Cornerstone Fellowship is are raising money to buy IPODS for men and women serving in the military. The IPODS will be preloaded with Pastor Steve's sermons and Christian music. How cool is that? It is great to be a part of Cornerstone Fellowship!
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Rev_Bone said...

Darn you, you just reminded me that we have to potty-train another kid soon...twice more if you count the one in the oven...

Awesome to hear about the ministry of the church you are at. Bono has been super-influential in my ministry these last few years. Check out the book, "Conversations with Bono". And the book "under the overpass" is a a great look inside real daily life of poverty in america.

Change the world-one person at a time..


Anonymous said...

Hey Wendy!
That blog is hillarious! It is fun to read about you and Shiloh's adventures in parenting. I look forward to seeing you guys sometime soon. Do you have any time in Jan that I could come visit. (Pre Jan 23)

That is so awesome about what God is doing in your life and church. God has really been challenging me lately not to lose faith. To expect God to do awesome things every day. To say mabe today will be the day that God heals my family. Maybe today will be the day that my parents will be reconciled. Or whatever. But always expect that God will work.

I hope you have a gready day!