Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Blog Bridesmaids

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When I first started blogging I thought when someone became your "follower" she actually got something out of it. Perhaps an email that said, "Hey you are now following so and so. Their blog posts are kind of boring, but since you know them you might like their pictures." or "Nice choice here. This person says some interesting stuff and they clearly have a professional camera." or "Welcome to this blog which will make you aware of how uncrafty you are. Although you will never attempt any of these crafts with your children, it's nice to see what those kind of people do." or "Thanks for following me. I barely even blog anymore because I am just too popular. I just give a bunch of stuff away that all these companies throw at me. And by the way, I really love Dove Soap and did you know McDonald's has a lot of healthy choices?"
Recently I signed up as a follower on a few blogs and can verify that you get nothing from it. Well, you get a little headshot on the sidebar (living the dream), but there no compensation or communication.

I have come to accept that being a follower of a blog is like being their bridesmaid. You are standing along side that blogger saying, "Hey I support you and your relationship with your blog. If you start neglecting your blog or being a jerk to your blog, I will call you out. In good times and bad."

If you unfollow the blog you are saying, "I know I was your bridesmaid, but I don't really like your blog anymore." or "Life happens. I just don't have time for you anymore."

Having blog bridesmaids is like a popularity contest. You campaign to get more bridesmaids. You feel better about yourself when you get new bridesmaids. You wonder how in the world certain blogs have so many bridesmaids and you wonder if their bridesmaids did in fact get some serious financial compensation because . . . well . . . the blog is totally uninteresting.

(This is my friend Keri. I was her bridesmaid. I was lucky she allowed a shorty like me to be in her wedding. She was my bridesmaid too, but she is not an official blog bridesmaid (no headshot on the sidebar). I know in her heart she is one. Keri, you need to go public with your bridesmaideship. I think Keri set up a blog and then never made a post. At this point, I cannot be her blog bridesmaid. We have a complicated relationship. Or at least I just made it complicated.)

It is this type of thought process (thinking all metaphorically and about popularity and desiring to have more followers or wondering why you don't have more followers) that makes me think I should just delete my bridesmaid followers altogether. But then I feel bad because my bridesmaid followers had to buy stupid dresses they will never wear again and they had to get up early and shower and stuff.

Anyone have any thoughts on this? Because getting comments is like how many people come to your wedding.
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Bill & Jenn said...

Wendy, you are a riot.
Re: the blog following.... I, too, have wondered what the point was... I mean, I thought I'd at least get a "heads up... so and so has a new post you might want to read" email or something. Nope. YOU GET NOTHING. Except your picture showing up on the side of their blog. IF (and that's a big if) you have a picture. Which I don't, which means I just have that anonymous blue silhouette person.

So, I don't follow blogs anymore.

But... I would TOTALLY come to your wedding! :)

Jamie said...

Are you only a flower girl if you subscribe to rss via google reader. there's even less commitment there and you can do it anonymously. Maybe that makes you the creepy wedding crasher?

Tegan and Tage said...

Wendy, you are freaking hilarious. I "follow" blogs that interest me because new posts show up in my Blogger Dashboard (and since I work at a desk in corporate America that's basically all I do all day... shh...) but I will admit I follow a few blogs that are not interesting but are owned by friends or acquaintances I want to show support for. It's all about the reason you blog I guess. Do you do it to get followers? Do you do it to have a creative outlet? Are you too lazy to scrapbook and find uploading pictures to a site that is already decorated for you easier? (That's me, by the way.) I think the follower thing is funny and it is always obvious which blogs are big on the "I HEART MY FOLLOWERS" while some don't even bother to share how many they have.

Funny stuff, this blogging business. Sometimes it's like high school all over again.

mel @ the larson lingo said...

I "ditto" what Tegan says. I was going to type out pretty much exactly what she said. I follow blogs because they show up in my dashboard & that keeps me updated when they have a new post. I know some people use Google Reader or an RSS feed, but I don't do any of those, I just rely on my dashboard to keep me updated on new posts.
I didn't know what the whole following thing was either. When I started my blog in Aug 2008, it automatically put the "following" icon on my blog & I had no idea what it meant.
P.S. Love all the wedding pics that you posted throughout this. Old school!

CynthiaK said...

That post was hilarious. And the photos made it that much better. Ah, being a bridesmaid...

Re: following, well, I like the fact that I can catch the latest post intros of those blogs I'm interested in when I go onto Blogger each day. Like just before I got here - I was intrigued about what people were saying about "following".

I like knowing that people like reading Crumbs enough to visit once in a while. I get totally concerned when I lose a follower, wondering "what did I do wrong? Did I change my writing style?" I know. I've got therapy for that. ;)

Anyway, I'm still your follower. I'd really like to know what kind of dress you expect your followers to be wearing because most bridesmaid dresses I've worn in the past are so, like, totally disgusting.

Lindsay said...

Love it Wendy! I don't have the option to become a follower on my blog for fear I may only garner one or two blog followers and that would send me straight back to the high school rejection days. Can't go back. I am a blog follower for your hilarious site, but haven't fully committed-hence no fabulous mini picture of me on your sidebar. I guess I am a wanna-be follower. Kinda feel like a blog stalker now that I have said that out loud..is that like being an uninvited guest to a wedding? :) Have a great day and keep up the fun!

Nancy said...

Oh my gosh, that is the funniest analogy ever. But so true. I have wrestled with that as well. Follower vs. not a follower vs.have followers vs. not having followers.... oh the choices! The pictures from your post were absolutely the best. Loved everythign about it. :)

TDM Wendy said...

Thanks for totally coming to my wedding.

Jamie, I'm thinking rss via google reader might be on bar with guest book girl. Not sure though. I would reserve creepy wedding crasher for . . .

Tegan and Tage,
I blog for scrapbookingish for myself and my kids. I like to write. It is my creative outlet and free therapy. However, there is the entertainer side of me... I love to make people laugh and entertain. So that side of me can get sucked into the follower thing.

I think I am dashboard lame. I never look at my dashboard. I guess I have not really looked at in year because there is all this fancy follower stuff that I didn't even realize was there. Didn't know it showed updates of who posted. I am so 1992.

The current trend in weddings and such seems to be very artsy and untraditional. So I think I will have you all wear a uniform. Of any kind. Follower's choice. Police, school, firefighter, nurse, etc. Please send a photo of you in your bridesmaid outfit.

I am sorry to tell you that you did not qualify as a blog stalker to this blog because I know you. However, you may get special status among other blogs you actually do stalk.

Still wrestling. In fact, all your comments are likely leading me to a Part 2 of this post.

Thanks for coming to my wedding. You were guys were so cheap to feed.

TDM Wendy said...

Okay, forgot to finish my thought from Jamie and it looks like I meant Tegan and Tage was creepy wedding crasher. Oops.
Tegan and Tage, Did not mean to make you feel like that or like the last kid to be picked for the ball wall team. And I didn't want to delete my comment and then repost it with the fix because . . . that would be like going to the wedding ceremony and then bailing on the reception because you had a better wedding to go to. Anyway, I am still working on how to properly classify all blog following methods.

Personally, I am an rss feed gal. Have it on my bookmarks and it shows a number to indicate how many of the blogs I look at have new posts. Not sure who I am anymore. This blog analogy stuff is really messing me up.

mel @ the larson lingo said...

You never use your dashboard?!?! How do you create posts? I think I need to bring the girls over this week for a playdate & I can give you blogger dashboard lessons!

TDM Wendy said...

I have a secret, special way of creating posts. It's through the FBI's intranet system for the CTU. That- and what I meant was that I never scroll down from my dashboard or using it for anything but posting.

Mirinda said...

You crack me up. Been a bit disenchanted with the 'blog world' as of late and have encountered some nasty thoughts in my head {mwahahaha} but honestly...I follow only the ones I'm actually interested in reading. On a regular basis. As for followers on my own blog? Well, I eloped with no bridesmaids so I'm good with going it alone but I like the company :)

Anonymous said...

Oh I love it Wen! Love memory lane and the picts...maybe you should mention you also fainted on stage during my vows pre- TDM days :O) Lovin you- see you in 2 weeks! Keri

Amy said...

sounds like Keri has a good idea for a new post! I totally want to hear about how you fainted at SOMEONE ELSES wedding. That is awesomeness right there.

nikihas3 said...

I just started following your blog the other day and I, like some of the other comments, follow blogs that I find interesting. That way I know when someone updates (dashboard). I think your blog is great! You crack me up.