“Get a pet. It will prepare you and your marriage for parenthood.” More than one person gave Shiloh and me that advice as we settled into married life. Maybe having a puppy is better than a parenting prep course. There are some parallels in raising animals and kids. But the danger in “prepping for parenthood by way of the animal kingdom” is that you might get a little bit cocky. Having a pet might deceive you into thinking that you’ve mastered the parenting thing and a child will have a mild effect on your life and your relationship with your husband. Bring on the human, you think, because you remember
to feed your dog twice a day. Not only do you feed your dog regularly, but you and your husband
are on the same page when it comes to disciplining your pup and you are very responsible in making dog-sitting arrangements for “your baby” when you go out of town. When you and your husband are on that romantic getaway you even talk about how much you miss Fido and you giggle at what a naughty little boy he is for chewing up your shoes. You never fight about the dog—there is just love. You think you are definitely ready for parenthood. It can’t be that much different, right?
That Much Different
Wrong. Picking up a kitty or puppy at the pound does not cause weight gain. Shopping for a breeder does nothing to alter anyone’s hormones. Waiting for a few months until a litter arrives is not comparable to struggling with infertility. Adopting a dog from a rescue organization is far from adopting a child.
Figuring out who will wake in the middle of the night to take the dog out to do his business does not compare to the marital challenges caused by sleepless nights in the Black Hole. Altering work schedules to determine who will come home from work to let the dog out for a potty break is nothing like the adjustment when one person quits their job to stay home all day long. Scheduling a dog walker is not the same as arranging for childcare for your baby. Recovering the shoe Fido ate and puked or cleaning up the aftermath of Fido’s potty accident is . . . actually very similar to what you might experience in parenthood. Congratulations! You and your husband are now ready for 1 percent of the parenthood.
Welcome friends, family, randoms, lurkers, blog addicts, fellow desperate moms, and Bono. This blog consists of mostly funny stuff that will make you feel better about yourself. Lots of mom comedy, non-Kodak moments, and un-fashion tips. On Wednesdays I write about my life as a former childhood actress complete with posts about how the entertainment business works, actors I met (or stalked), people and animals I worked with, my Hollywood friends, and photos of former teen heartthrobs. And if that’s not enough to draw you in to follow me . . . I have done some amazing giveaways. A rubber chicken, millions of doll hairs, and unlimited supplies of air. Come join the party.
