I know that having family meals are important - kids openly sharing about their days while politely passing the vegetables. Children compliantly and gratefully eating the delicious and healthy dinner that mom has spent hours preparing. Toddlers carefully eating over their plates as not to spill. No one asking mom for "the ranch dressing, a new fork, a drink, another napkin, salt . . ." as soon as she finally sits down in an attempt to eat before everyone else is done. Parents gazing at one another longingly as they have missed each other throughout their day. Well-adjusted offspring exchanging giggles and chewing with their mouths closed. Supporting comments taken in turn as all family members listen intently to whoever it is who is talking. Highlights and lowlights - sharing them one at a time with no interruption or loud voices. Bible verses being to applied to life lessons that have occurred during recess, at work, or in the carpool lane. You know, typical meals around the table with the family? They are said to help cement the family relationships.
Here's the thing - I do think family meal time is important. I actually do think sitting down together for a meal together is awesome and valuable to the family. Sometimes. Not every day. Not every meal. Because at this stage in the game (with a 9 year-old boy, 6 1/2 year-old girl, and 4 1/2 year-old girl) our family meals are a little less peaceful than the aforementioned meal scenario. Maybe that will change with age, maybe we are just failing as parents . . . but for now I have discovered a golden parenting gem. One that I have never read about in the parenting books or blogs. And for zero dollars I would like to share it with you. Something that has worked for us . . .
I've been bringing Elijah breakfast in bed on some school mornings. He is not a morning person. He has a hard time getting out of bed. He has a hard time not being grumpy at the breakfast table. And then breakfast becomes a time for grumpy interaction between the three kids. "He's not chewing with his mouth closed! I was looking at that cereal box! Stop looking at me. Stop making noise when you chew! Stop annoying me." Then I just want to crawl into a hole and rock myself to sleep wondering Where have I gone wrong? Am I the worst mom ever? Why can't my kids get along?
It's not a great start to the day for any of us.
So now a few mornings a week I bring Elijah some warm milk with vanilla and honey. And he loves it. And he actually wakes up without me sitting on him or spitting in his face. (Relax, that's a joke.) Then I bring him oatmeal. And he reads, eats, and relaxes. With the animals and a book. (He loves the Action Bible). Then he emerges and gets ready for school. And he feels old and cool and special. And there is less chaos at the breakfast table.
How are your family meal times? Have you discovered any special tricks besides banishing a kid from the kitchen table that helps bring peace and harmony to the meal times?
Welcome friends, family, randoms, lurkers, blog addicts, fellow desperate moms, and Bono. This blog consists of mostly funny stuff that will make you feel better about yourself. Lots of mom comedy, non-Kodak moments, and un-fashion tips. On Wednesdays I write about my life as a former childhood actress complete with posts about how the entertainment business works, actors I met (or stalked), people and animals I worked with, my Hollywood friends, and photos of former teen heartthrobs. And if that’s not enough to draw you in to follow me . . . I have done some amazing giveaways. A rubber chicken, millions of doll hairs, and unlimited supplies of air. Come join the party.
7 comments:
This is genius. Seriously.
Our girls are terrible at dinnertime (Kev gets home late, so I feed them around 5:30) They never like staying at the table, so sometimes, they have a "picnic" outside in the backyard on a blanket. At least they will stay put & eat on those occasions :)
That's awesome! We do breakfast in bed as a birthday treat, but our girls usually decline it because they are too social :) I think the warm milk with honey and vanilla would win them over, though!
I totally get where you are coming from. I only have one and I rarely sit down to start eating before she is done. She also talks a lot and sometimes I can't have a conversation with my husband without yelling over her. Ha ha! I'm sure when I have more kids, we'll have your kind of mornings.
It's chaotic and a fun. And a blessing and crazy. And sometimes . . . it's just nice to have a quieter meal. Maybe your daughter would like to eat while watching a show while you and husband connect. Every once in a while anyway. Parenting is a creative art, for sure.
That's funny that their socialness keeps them from that. Maybe if that had a brother... :)
Whatever it takes my friend, whatever it takes... Luke will be wanting breakfast in bed for sure.
Finally catching up on blogging! Oh man, table time can be hard. I feel like we've had good and not so good seasons. I have on who likes to walk around while eats... we just try and adapt! I think for conversation in general I talk to my kids a lot about the way they talk to each other. I often ask them to stop and think about a more encouraging way to say something. Sometimes I ask them to just stop and be silent so that they can think things through. No magical answer... just consistency. We ask the kids a lot of open-ended questions, too.
Post a Comment