Suffering sucks. Just this week I've heard this from dear friends . . .
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My dad is suddenly really sick. Sclerosis of the liver and huge tumor there.
Our baby is not going to make it.
My husband was unfaithful. We are in the process of the divorce.
Awful. Heart-wrenching. Painful. Tragic. Last week I was asked to speak on the topic of grief. Because I know it. Because I have been there. Many of you know my story of loss and grief. Because of my journey, my heart is tender for those who are suffering. So let me just pre-party with you on this topic before I share at Mothers Together because it is weighing on my heart. And this is my self-therapy.
Many of you know grief personally. You are looking back on it. You are walking into it. You are right in the middle of it. And if that's you, I just want to validate the suckiness of it all. The pain of it all. The emotional pain where your heart just hurts so bad you want to crawl into a hole. The physical pain where you have cried so much it physically hurts and you feel like your throat is going to pulse into your brain -- or something totally funky like that because that hardcore crying pain is hard to articulate. It just sucks.
Many of you know grief personally. You are looking back on it. You are walking into it. You are right in the middle of it. And if that's you, I just want to validate the suckiness of it all. The pain of it all. The emotional pain where your heart just hurts so bad you want to crawl into a hole. The physical pain where you have cried so much it physically hurts and you feel like your throat is going to pulse into your brain -- or something totally funky like that because that hardcore crying pain is hard to articulate. It just sucks.
Yes, God is at work. Yes, somehow God is in control and we are not. Yes, God will bring good out of all things for those who love him and are called according to His purposes. Yes, what Satan has intended for evil, God has meant for good. Yes, God walks with us in our suffering. He hasn't caused it, but some how he steps right down into it. Yes, in our weakest, most desperate times . . . God speaks clearly. Or maybe we are just ready to listen. But some of us were really trying to listen before the pain, so what is up? Yes, God loves us. Yes, God has not forgotten us. Yes, we can trust him and do not need to fear. These things are awesome and true. I know this firsthand. They sustained my broken heart. They brought peace to my suffering. But my circumstances still sucked.
And all those truths about God don't mean you should be skipping through suffering. Because even with all these truths in your head, the pain is still there. The loss of marriage, the loss of a parent, the loss of a pregnancy, the loss of a baby, the loss of your health, the loss of a child to addiction, infertility . . .
I don't know where you are at as you read this, but if you are suffering loss right now I want to oddly encourage you with this:
And all those truths about God don't mean you should be skipping through suffering. Because even with all these truths in your head, the pain is still there. The loss of marriage, the loss of a parent, the loss of a pregnancy, the loss of a baby, the loss of your health, the loss of a child to addiction, infertility . . .
I don't know where you are at as you read this, but if you are suffering loss right now I want to oddly encourage you with this:
Your situation sucks. Let yourself be sad. Let yourself grieve. Cling to Who and what you know, but let yourself cry out to God and grieve. And let people bring you meals for the rest of your life.
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2 comments:
I just want to say thank you for sharing this today. I am a regular follower of your blog but don't often post... Wed I was in a car accident with my husband and two small children. Thanks be to God, they were all fine, but I have a fractured hip and pelvis. It's been one of those years.. I was laid off, my husband was laid off, he got a new job with half the pay but the work environment is rough.. etc etc. I said to him yesterday on the way home from the hospital, "doesn't it feel like we've had more than our fair share of bad things happen in the last 2-3 years?" I know God has a plan in it all, but sometimes it is hard to see that when the results don't come immediately (or within months..). I thought today as I struggled my way into the shower, maybe God is doing all this to give me a tender heart towards those who suffer.. and then you posted this. So thank you, again. Prayers for you - please say a prayer for me!
Praying for you Abby. Thanks for sharing.
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