Friday, April 10, 2009

I made an alternative to "The Wiggles"

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Today we went to my girlfriend's house for breakfast and egg decorating.

The Moms discussed various "sayings" or bad habits our kids have picked up from various children's television shows. I mean, I thought "The Bachelor" was strictly educational. Apparently not. Even the most seemingly harmless shows have taught our kids some inappropriate sayings and behaviors. As I have mentioned before Lydia likes to roam around saying, "What the? What the? What the?" Not so cute.

My friend Danika finally figured out where Owen learned to say with full on dramatics, "I will NEVER play with these toys again!" Hello "Super Why". They teach your kids to read... and have full on drama queen/king outbursts. We all know Calliou is a total disobedient whiner with no consequences. And Thomas the Train has a total rude tude (beside the fact it is so completely boring). So what's the alternative? The Wiggles? Do you really want you kids idolizing four dudes wiggling around singing lame songs, pointing their fingers, talking about Captain Feathersword and yodeling about fruit salad?

I think the world is ready for an alternative to that action. And this morning I decided to be the alternative. Clearly, I have thought long and hard about this and I fully mapped out this morning's performance beforehand. I am ready to make millions off of this so please do not use this without my authorized permission. I know Disney is going to call me in like 5 minutes and offer me millions for this because it really is much better than what's out there. Please have your children leave me some comments (i.e. "What the...?") after they view this incredible new children's program called "Wacky Wendy."

And here is what the critics are saying:
My Dad: "Okay, I now believe you've totally lost it! I think you should look for an MA group (Moms Anonymous)"
My husband: "Honey. That wasn't your best work. Outside of me and possibly your Mom, there is no way anybody would watch that whole thing." (He was so wrong. My Dad totally watched it.)

Okay, I admit it. This is really quite a stupid video. Crap, I can't say "stupid." That's a bad word in toddler land. Shoot, I can't say "crap." That's a bad word in toddler land. Dang it, can I say "shoot?"
See how hard it is to provide family entertainment? Good thing kids are entertained by just about anything... except their toys.
AND for the record, I think I have lost "it". Whatever "it" is. Just wait 'til you see my fashion post tomorrow. Some pretty serious confirmation of the whole "Wendy's losing it" theme.


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tlswank said...

Your show needs a little more work before I'm buying the video for my kids. Truth is, I couldn't even watch it all. But kuddos for the bravery in posting it.

Calliou totally whines. Thomas is boring. But with the wiggles at least my kids are moving. Dora, Diego? Come on, that's not horrible. Learning Spanish and about animals. And better than Elmo.

mannfamily said...

Kaleb has already watched it three times and had to show daddy and uncle jamie (it was his movie debut). unfortunately i have a feeling it's going straight to dvd...both daddy and jamie said, "that wendy really is wacky."

Totally Desperate Mom said...

We are not quite "Picture ready" yet. Perhaps if I put more than zero point zero thought into it we could give it a million dollar go. Kudos to you for enduring more than 10 seconds of my video (assuming you made it through 10 seconds). My husband could barely do it.
Dora and Diego are great. Yes, there are some good ones out there. But some of them are so lame and bad (like mine). Once I "nail it" I will let you know. I have been practicing my childlike weirdness really hard.

Mann Fam,
My kids like to watch it too. But let's face it. They will take their crack, I mean television, in any form. Any time. Straight to DVD? That's fantastic. That is where the money is really made. And I am glad Daddy and Jamie said I was wacky. That's my name in the show! It stuck with them. $$$$$ And remember, Kaleb gets a cut for his air time!


yep, my kids wanted to watch it over and over again too. i might not have let them. sorry.

Amy said...

Did you take the little red pills or the little green pills before making your show?
That was a level of Wendy I have never witnessed before. That was....something.

Sharon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sharon said...

Cool, brave and fun. Keep it up. :D

Totally Desperate Mom said...

Amy, Not quite sure what color the pills were. I just scooped 'em all up and shoved them in my mouth.