Help for the Motherhood

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I spoke to the MOPS groups at my church last year about “Taking Care of Mom.” During my talk I used the phrase “totally desperate mom.” After I spoke, Debbie Alsdorf came up to me with excitement and said, “You've got to write a book about this stuff and it has to be called ‘Totally Desperate Mom.’"
The seed was planted and the vision was cast for this book. But at the time I was pregnant with my fourth child (have one in heaven) and could not really see straight. Still can’t, but I have a lot more chapters of desperation now and have begun writing this book.

Debbie has told her publisher about me, but right now they are not taking on newbies. I think this may be the case with many publishers, but at this point I don't want to wait around and find out. I don't plan on submitting to any publishers and have decided to go the self publishing route. I know there is somewhat of a stigma attached to this because anyone (i.e. people who have no writing skills, personality or common sense) can self publish, but there are a lot of benefits as well.

Before I go an order a bunch of books (5000) I wanted to do a little experiment. Almost everyone (except my Dad and half of Shiloh) is telling me not to order that many - only 7% of all authors (even published ones) sell that many. But my naive self says, "Five thousand? Really? That's not that many." Keep in mind - it is way more cost effective to order 5000 offset printed books rather than ordering them on demand in smaller quantities. Of course, that's if you can sell them...
This is where you come in. My true friends. Who will stand in the gap for me? Who will come pay my bail when I am in prison? Who believes that children are our future? Who will commit to buying some books from me that they will sell or give to other people?

I am looking for 50 crazy valiant people who will commit to purchasing 10 books from me to sell/give to people that they know. If you don't like the book, you can give it to people you don't like or make your kids read it when they are in timeout. It's a versatile book. I would sell the books to you for $10 each + the cost of shipping (unless you live locally). This is not an official pre-order thing so I won't be repossessing your car right now or anything like that, but I wanted to get a feel for who would be in on this gig besides my Mom and Dad. Please email me or post a comment if you are willing to participate in this shenanigan. If I could get 500 books theoretically sold right away I would be more prone to go with the big order and break the SPGC (self publishing glass ceiling).

The book will not be out for about a year. I only have two completed chapters, (yet to be professionally edited) but I have the proposal with the chapters I am planning. Here is the content overview:
I will share relatable stories and experiences from the various stages of motherhood – from just before pregnancy/adoption up to the kindergarten years. And the manic meltdowns (from both mother and child) in between. In addition, I will have a section that suggests how to take care of Mom… so she has less mental breakdown days and the fortitude to take care of her little ones. Rather than a book of wisdom from a woman who has survived motherhood (as have her children), this is more like a comic book from a Mom who is currently knee deep in dirty diapers and light saber fights. Trying to survive. Throughout the book I will weave in spiritual encouragement and some practical tips of things that have worked for me.

I have posted my first chapter "Welcome to the Motherhood" here. Be warned that the target audience is psycho pregnant ladies or Mothers with young kids. If you are a male, especially a male without children, beware. This might be more info than you can handle. I know that no one will plagiarize this chapter (except maybe Dave Sanchez because he is jealous that I am tied for the lead in our Fantasy Formula One League) because... well... who really wants to take credit for my opening story?

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