Poopy Winners

Pin It Now! Carrie over at Stuff Mamas Like had a little contest. Submit your desperate mom stories and I would choose a winner. They submitted. I chose. Winner gets a copy of my book. No surprise - all stories revolved around poop.

Sometimes I have thought about legally changing my name to Poop-Face Hagen because of all the poop adventures that I have survived. When I searched the word "poop" to see how many of my blog posts contained that word . . . 34. Thirty-four posts where poop was involved in some way. Poop is the new black. Or something like that.

Congratulations to poopy Dana over at Teething Toys and Coffee Mugs for winning the contest. Read her story below - I could so visualize and relate to the whole scene. Except for the high heels part. She's crazy (but lookin' good).

My exciting adventure was on Easter morning. My husband was working but regardless I wanted to venture out (my new mom mission) to share my then 4 month old Munchkin with the family for brunch. That morning we both dressed up. Munch had his cute matching shirt, pants and shoes. Crazy first time mom mission. And then to top it off, Heels for me. Heels people! That alone is a huge feat for me. I regretted that decision as soon as I sat down at the table. I digress.

The whole back seat car ride (a whopping 20 minutes) was quiet. Strangely quiet. Pulling up to the restaurant, Munch was still smiling which later tuned me into the idea that smiles do not always mean good things. Grandpa S was the initiator once our seating had been arranged. The whole thing was almost slow motion. Seat belt clicks open, hands reach in, Munch (still smiling) is raised into the air, and wham. A vertical stripe of yellow is up the shirt, into the hair, into the car seat and onto Grandpa S' hands.

Whoa.

The worst blow out I have ever experienced.

Newbie mom here goes into gear and starts to gather the necessities for an emergency baby wipe bath and change. I grab the Stinky Smiling Munchkin and head off to the bathroom - Plan A. Of course. No changing station. Plan B. The back seat of my Saturn out in the parking lot.

To fully grasp the scene, please close your eyes and imagine with me. Very low "slanted" back seat. Mom in a skirt AND heels. Wind and rain picking up very quickly. Poop everywhere. Apparently a pair of scrubs should be included in every diaper bag for an occasion such as this.

By the time the clothing, diaper and changing pads were cleared (forever stained by the way), my legs were shaking, my back was throbbing and I was wet. All from holding the awkward lunge position necessary to change Munch in the back seat of my car. I

I learned some valuable lessons that day.

1. Heels are evil.

2. Cute outfits are not meant to last and should be avoided.

3. A petition should be signed forcing every bathroom to have a changing station... or a counter...or a wood plank. SOMETHING that is not a slanted backseat of a car that hugs the ground.

3. Baby smiles may be cute but oh man are they sneaky.

4. Poop stains. Oh how it stains.

5. I faced the sad reality that I am desperately out of shape. I literally could not walk for two days without hobbling after that lunge position.

This is the poop perpetrator.

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