Renewing of Vows - SURPRISE!

Pin It Now! Last weekend we were in San Diego for a renewing of vows ceremony for some of our best friends.

(Most of these photos are by Shauna at Studio 7.)

It was a total surprise to the wife. All of it. I mean, who would expect her husband would scheme behind her back and coordinate an extraordinary event for your 13 1/2 year anniversary?

Here's a recap of how it went down.

1. The groom, who we'll call Russ, had been thinking about and planning this for several years.

2. He arranged to have about 45 people come in from around the country and put them up in a hotel in Carlsbad, CA.

3. He had their friend and interior decorator arrange stuff for the reception and decorate. Absolutely gorgeous.

4. They were on vacation in San Diego and the bride, who we'll call Stacy, thought she was going to a spa day at Los Willos in Fallbrook for her sister-in-law's birthday.

5. She went into a room for her spa treatments and there was a DVD playing that her husband made. I didn't see the video, but I imagine it went something like this, "You are the best thing ever. Best wife. Best mom. You're hot. I love your guts. And I want to renew our vows. I have 3 dresses for you to choose from. Get all dolled up and then let's do this. Right now. It's on."

6. Stacy came out of the room in utter shock. Crying the ugly cry. A few moments later I walked in with my video camera rolling. More ugly cry. I will spare her and not post that video here, but she was weeping like a baby. I won't spare her the ugly cryin' photo.

7. Then a few of us got all done up. I got hair, makeup and nails! It was so dreamy. I get my hair and makeup done every 13 years so it was such a treat!!! Thank you Russ!

8. Ceremony: Bride and her daughter cross over a small lake on a boat. Groom and their son meet the up with the gals as they get off the boat.

9. The pastor who married them performs the ceremony. More surprise and tears for Stacy.

10. Beautiful reception. Good food. Gorgeous and tasty cake.

11. Russ plays guitar with talented worship leader and sings "Hold Us Together." Meanwhile their 9 year-old accompanies on the piano and their 7 year-old . . . forgets her tambourine. So Shiloh downloads a tambourine app on my iphone and she taps it into the microphone.

12. DVD of photo montage that Russ made plays for everyone. Final song on the DVD is "Always" by Grammy award-winning Switchfoot, Stacy's favorite band. Ours too. (You might remember Elijah's meltdown when we told him we went to a Switchfoot concert without him.)

13. Worship leader stands up and leads everyone in prayer.

14. Prayer over. Eyes open. Jon Foreman (lead singer of Switchfoot and ridiculously talented songwriter/musician) is on the piano singing "Always." (If you are not familiar with Switchfoot or this song, do yourself a favor and check out this video.) More shock and ugly crying for Stacy.



He goes on to sing four more songs accompanied by amazing celloist Keith Tutt.

15. The End. Russ goes down in husband history.

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My Son Wishes He Were Black

Pin It Now! Happy Martin Luther King Jr. day!

While we still have a long way to go, I am so thankful that my kids are growing up in a world that looks vasty different than the 50s and 60s in terms of racism and equality. My children are aware that people have different colored skin than them, but they have no conception of how that would make someone any better or worse than them. Just different. No big deal.

Actually, my son has told me that he wishes he were black because he is so inspired by Martin Luther King, Jr. Michael Jordan. He is thankful for Jesus and Michael Jordan.

But on behalf of the Hagen family - thank you to Martin Luther King, Jr.!

"An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity." MLK Jr.

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Clean Water For Christmas

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My kids play in clean water. Some kids don't even have clean water to drink.

That's gonna change. One well at a time. Head on over to Project 320 and see what bloggers are doing to make a difference. Head on over to see what you can do to make a difference . . . and win major prizes. You'll find a copy of Totally Desperate Mom in some of the prize bundles. But that's child's play compared to some of the other goodies.

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In Honor of Memorial Day

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To run a marathon is crazy. To run a marathon while pushing someone in a wheelchair . . . is inspiring. Still crazy, but inspiring.

Former Marine Corps pilot Bryan Purcell (who is married to my husband's cousin) is running a marathon with and for a disabled marine who was injured in Iraq in 2005. Bryan will push Sgt. Eddie Ryan in his wheelchair through the streets of Washington D.C. on October 31st. Watch their story.



Thank you to the men and women who serve and have served in the military. Thanks Dad, who was in the Air Force. Thanks Grandpa, who was in World War II and the Korean War. He was a prisoner of war in Germany and escaped. And rescued a small German town from being bombed by the Allies. That's a blog post for a later day . . . Happy Memorial Day. Pin It Now!

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Your First Gift - Clean Water

Pin It Now! I know I am not blogging this week so once again, this is just a dream. And it's timely. I guess I picked a bad week to "go dark," huh?

From water4christmas.com (italics from me)

Every day, 4500 mothers bury their children due to contaminated water. They are forced to sustain their families with a diabolical liquid that contains both life and death. This lack of clean water is the leading cause of death in underdeveloped nations. And it just doesn't have to be!

Before you go buy a bunch of junk that no one needs, stop. Think outside of your comfortable life and think about how awesome it is to have a glass of water when you are thirsty. And then think about drawing that water from a muddy creek where cows just pooped. And then think about your kids bathing in that water before bed. And think about your kids coming out of their rooms for the ninth time asking for their "last drinks!" And you hand them a glass of cloudy, bacteria infested, cow poop water and send them back to bed. How can we live in a world where people DIE from lack of clean drinking water? So lame. Ten bucks can make a difference.

And today, November 13th, we are buying water. Clean, life-saving water.

$10 will provide one person in Africa clean water for 10 years. It will literally change and possibly save someone's life. A mother. A child. A brother. A grandfather.

We are rallying together for a cause. Clean water. One day. $10. Asking everyone to let this be their first gift. Let water, let life be their first gift of the season.

Click here to donate.

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Our Baby Faith

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Yesterday was national Pregnancy and Infant Loss day. I never even knew there was such a day. December 11th is normally my special day of remembrance for our sweet baby Faith. It is the day she was born. The day we met her face to face. It is a day I will never forget as we were unsure if we were ever going to be able to hold her. At five months pregnant we found out that she had severe midline defects which indicated Trisomy 13 or 18. An amnio confirmed that she had Trisomy 13, most likely a fatal condition. Of those born alive with Trisomy 13, 80% die in the first month. We were devastated. And yet, I experienced the peace of God like never before.

I usually get bummed around her birthday. Miss her. Long for her. Wonder what she would be doing if she were still with us. But I also have hope on that day. And I have joyful memories of the way God carried us through that pregnancy. Ironically, when I was carrying a baby that was going to die, I understood the love of God like I never had before. His presence and concern for my life was evident time and time again. When I was at my lows and felt like I couldn't go on, He met me there. He brought the right people into my life to say the things I needed to hear ... just when I needed to hear them. Not a moment of my pain and suffering was wasted. God had purpose in my pain. I started a blog about my journey with baby Faith. I still haven't finished it, but it details some of those amazing experiences. We were blessed to hold her for four days before she made her way up to heaven. Last week I spoke at Mothers Together about grief. I shared my story. I also shared ways you can help people as they walk through grief. Here is the podcast if you feel like crying ... and laughing.

My heart goes out to those who have lost babies. God has not forgotten you. No tear has gone unnoticed. I don't understand it all, but I know God has purpose even in our pain. Look up.

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Spending Fast

Pin It Now! Will you join me a two-week spending fast? I spoke at Women's Bible Study this week from Ephesians 4:22-5:3. I covered unwholesome talk, sexual immorality and greed. If you want to hear the whole message check out the podcast.

At the end of my message, I left the ladies with a challenge. Don't spend money on anything but necessities for two weeks. But what about the girls night out you have had planned for three months? What about the kid's birthday party gift you need to buy this week? Make adjustments. Pray about it. Go to the outing, but can you skip out on the dessert or the salad or the drink or something? Buy the gift, but can you wrap it in a grocery bag and decorate that? Be creative. Be prayerful. Ask God to direct you as all the obstacles pop into your head as to why you just can't do it. Not now. Because there will always be something, right?

As you fast and are tempted to spend, when you are longing for that drive thru convenient meal for your family, when you are desperate for the store bought coffee, for the cute outfit for your kid ... reflect on God and the things He cares about. Reflect on how you spend your money. Is it God's way? Is there a hint of greed in your life? There's a ton in mine.

If you are reading this, you are probably rich. You have a computer and I would guess you have clean drinking water. Perhaps a car. Maybe a television. But half the world lives

on less than $2.50 a day. And 25,000 children die EACH day due to poverty. Don't be paralyzed by all the need in the world. Don’t disregard it. Do something. Ask God what your part is. How can I make a difference? How can I be less greedy and more giving? How can my financial style reflect that I am a child of God?

Most of us will save some money if we go on a spending fast. What are you going to do with that extra money? There is so much need. So many places to give. Do you know a single mom that could use a night out? Could you babysit for her (or give $ for babysitter) and give her a gift card for a restaurant? Could you sponsor a child? Could you leave groceries on the porch for your unemployed neighbor? I could make suggestions for days because the need is so vast. But so is the greed. God is working on me in this area. All the time. Will you join me?

It's gonna be an awesome ride and I know God will pour out his blessings as you reach out to Him and make sacrifices for others.

Ephesians 5:1-3 "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people."

I John 3:17 "If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but show no compassion - how can God's love be in that person?" (NLT)

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Heart Surgery Prayer

Pin It Now! Remember my friends, Grant and Jill? Grant is the one who wrote the movie "Seven Pounds." On May 23rd Jill and Grant welcomed baby Abigail to the world. When she was five days old, the doctors discovered a VSD (hole in the heart). Tomorrow she will have heart surgery to fix her heart. Please remember her in your prayers tomorrow!

For more on her story and updates on her surgery check out their blog.

Isn't she cute?

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Kidney Reflux No More

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On Thursday Jordis had her follow up VCUG to determine if she'd outgrown her kidney reflux. As you may remember, I chose NOT to put her on a year of antibiotics (against all doctors' advice). It has been 14 months she had that urinary tract infection that put her in the hospital for 4 days and made us aware of her stage 2, bilateral kidney reflux. (Don't forget about the stomach flu she brought home from the hospital and gifted to all of us.)

I am so thankful to report that not only did she not have another UTI, but all of her kidney paraphernalia are fully developed and in working order. She has outgrown her kidney reflux! Woohoo!

James 1:17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

Nothing like a random medical tool to keep a 14 month old entertained ... until the actual procedure begins. Then it is ten minutes of non-stop screaming. Not so much from pain, but from the lack of freedom as a result of Mom and nurse keeping her still.

Who invents these crazy contraptions?

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I Believe I Can Fly

Pin It Now! And with Elijah's passion for all things Michael Jordan comes "I Believe I Can Fly."

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God's Economy

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This is an article I wrote last year. I know it is kinda random on the Tales from the Motherhood blog, but it was fro Elijah's preschool newletter. And Elijah is my son. So I think it falls into the motherhood category, right?

Proverbs 30:7-9 says “Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the LORD ?' Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.”

What a challenging and yet simple prayer to pray – Lord give me only my daily bread. The basics. The things I need. Not all the bajillion things I want. They are a distraction from my ultimate purpose – serving you! I have never been so poor that I would want/need to steal, although I did sneak change from my Dad’s change jar when I was a kid … for the much needed ice cream man. And I have not won the lottery and disowned God. But I can say that the more comfortable I get financially, the less I trust God. I don’t do so intentionally. It just happens. I get comfortable. I don’t need Him. I got lots of other stuff and people and thing going on. He gets lost in the hustle and bustle of comfortable Bay Area living.

In light of the current economy, it seems as though now would be a good time for all of us to step back and ask ourselves, “Who or what are we putting our faith in? Do we recognize God’s hand in our lives? Do we realize that He is the provider whether we acknowledge him or not? Have we been putting our security in our stuff or are we resting in the comfort and security of a relationship with our Creator?”

Perhaps your bank account has run dry. Maybe you have lost your home. Your husband (or you) has lost his job. Has God gotten your attention yet? I am not trying to say, “This economy is God’s judgment on the world!” Maybe it is. Perhaps it isn’t. But ultimately, God is in control and wants to use all things for his glory. Will you let Him? Will you look to Him to be your peace during these uncertain times?

“Lord, Help me to take my eyes off my circumstances and onto you. Help me to acknowledge and trust you as the provider of my daily bread. Don’t let me so self-absorbed and comfortable that I forget about you or give you my leftovers.”

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Star Wars Helmet for the Homeless

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Elijah and I were cleaning up the playroom living room . I asked him where he wanted me to put his Clone Trooper helmet since is it so huge. Then I said, "You're not really into Star Wars much these days. How about if we give this to someone else?"

He said, "Okay. Let's give it to a homeless person." Bless his heart.



Food? Shelter? No thanks, but I'll take a Clone Trooper helmet.

I didn't want to crush him so I said gently, "Well, I don't know if any homeless people are going to want to cart this around."

A light bulb went off in his head, "Let's send it to Anthony in Kenya!" Another practical idea. The kid really has a heart of gold.

If you know any local homeless or poor people that are looking for a helmet that says "Cover Me!" "Sir - wer're taking heavy fire." "All clear general." "All units - fire at will!" "The mission always comes first sir!" "I'm on my way." "We've got you've outnumbered!" "Green light. GO! GO! GO!" "I've got a baaaad feeling about this sir." "Copy that sir." "All gunships holding at a safe distance."
... let me know. May the force be with you.

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Nice Furniture for $1 and a letter

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Ari is the Mom to my Mommy's helper, Ava. I love her. She did this really awesome thing recently. It is a long, very cool, inspiring story, but you will have to wait for the movie to come out to get the full scoop, back story, etc (Jill and Grant are you reading this? We need to get to work on this). Despite the fact that Ari is a single Mom who is not rolling in the dough, she decided to post her bedroom furniture on craigslist... for $1 and a letter (Move Title - $1 and a Letter). The response she got was incredible.

Here is her post on craigslist:

Re: Nice Furniture, not junk, $1 along with a Letter!

All items listed below are priced at $1. If you are interested in any of these items, along with the payment I am also requesting that you send me the reason why you are interested in the item, how this item will make a difference in your home, or if it would possibly alleviate some need or problem you are currently facing.

No items will be sold immediately. There will be a minimum of seven days to receive all interested buyers’ requests. I will try and get back to all responses in a timely matter, but it may not be possible, so if you don’t hear anything, assume it’s been sold.

If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? 1 John 3:17

Over the week, 27 heartfelt to heartbreaking letters came in; here’s a sample:

“Hello~ I am writing in hopes that you would consider allowing me to buy the bed for my father…Well, to let you know a few things about my Dad. In '06 I became paralyzed by a freak accident and he never thought twice when it came to taking my young son & I in, even though he was taking care of my mom who recently had a stroke. He worked with me everyday & eventually I began to start walking again(was told I NEVER would). He NEVER gave up on me!
Now I live in South Dakota & he still lives in Pittsburg (Ca) & he is sleeping on a couch… the least I can do is find something for him & set it up so that they can go pick it up. I am praying that something happens soon, & I know they will, as I am a VERY FIRM believer that God provides!!!”

“I am interested in 2 items, the maple desk from picture #1 and the computer chair from one of the last pictures. Neither of these items is for me. I am looking out for some furniture to help a student who is from SriLanka and is studying at FootHill college. I myself am impressed that she has had the courage to pursue her dreams and make it to the USA, and hence have taken it upon myself to help her get herself setup. She is currently renting a room with no furniture, has just a sleeping bag for herself. So all her homework is done sitting cross legged on the carpet. I am looking for a desk, chair and some kind of bedding for her. In her own words ‘I cannot repay people’s kindnesses, but I will pray for them fervently.’”


“I am very interested in the full sleigh bed frame and desk that you have for sale. It would definitely lift a big weight off of my shoulders to buy it for only $1 because I am a starving college student. I am currently working for free (an internship), living out of my grandma's basement and receiving an income from student loans of only 300 a month. It's not much but I get by. All of my time goes towards school and concentrating on graduating, that is why my financial status is a bit low right now. My desk currently is about to break because it is a simple drafting desk that I originally bought for only $20…It would be amazing to purchase these items for so cheap because as you can see, I can't afford much.”

And soooooo.... Ari and I thought we could use the blog as a way to hook some of these people up. I know there are people out there that have furniture that they don't want or need. And there are certainly needy people out there. Wouldn't it be cool if we could bless these random people? 

Here is what Ari says,

"Most people are in need of bed frames, mattresses, desks, and dressers. I know this is asking a lot, but if you happen to be trying to get rid of these things and would be willing to take a blessing instead of a money payment, well…wow and thanks!
If interested contact ari fry at arifry@pacbell.net so we can set up an exchange."

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Kisa Hughes

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I am in Southern California right now. Last Thursday, a friend of mine from UCLA, Kisa Hughes, went to be with the LORD. I met her through Athletes in Action, which is a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ. Kisa was on the basketball team when I was a cheerleader. I cheered at a lot of her games. She dominated on the court and yet was so gentle spirited and sweet. It is annoying when, after someone dies, everyone says how nice a person was, how they never said anything bad about anyone else, what a good person they were, etc. Because you know in many cases, it's a lie. The person really was kind of a jerk and always talked smack about others. So let me say this with all sincerety and honesty - Kisa was one of the kindest people I have ever met. Period.

Kisa had battled colon cancer for about 3 years. She was a beautiful woman who LOVED, LOVED, LOVED God. I went to her memorial service today. So sad and yet so peaceful. No doubt that she is in heaven. No doubt that God has used her life tremendously to further the kingdom of God. Below, I have pasted her obituary from the LA Times.

Kisa Hughes, 33; was All-Pac-10 as UCLA basketball player
From Times Staff Reports
March 4, 2007

Kisa Hughes, a former All-Pacific 10 Conference basketball player at UCLA, died of colon cancer Thursday at her home in Riverside, her sister Kilee said Saturday. She was 33.

A graduate of J.W. North High School in Riverside, where she played basketball and volleyball, Hughes attended Cal State Fullerton and was named Big West Conference freshman of the year in basketball.

She transferred to UCLA and was among the Pac-10 leaders in rebounding and scoring all three seasons there. A graceful 6-foot-4 center, Hughes was named to the All-Pac-10 team in the 1994-95 season.

After graduating with a bachelor's degree in history, Hughes played professional basketball for 2 1/2 years in China, Germany and Austria until injuries ended her playing career.

She returned to California and worked with youths in urban communities, first with the Beyond Shelter housing group and then with the city of Los Angeles' Rewarding Youth Achievement Program.

Hughes was born in Harbor City and grew up with basketball. Her father, Ronald, played basketball at Cal State Fullerton and is a professor of sociology there. Her mother, Barbara, was a schoolteacher in Riverside. Besides her parents and her sister, Hughes is survived by three brothers, Ronald Jr., Solomon and Gabriel.

A memorial service will be held at 1 p.m. Wednesday at the Rock Church, 2345 S. Waterman Ave., San Bernardino. Funeral services will be held at 11 a.m. Thursday at Shepherd of the Hills Church, 19700 Rinaldi St., Porter Ranch.

In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the Los Angeles Conservation Corps, with checks payable to LACC in care of Yo Watts!, a youth development organization that provides education and employment services in Watts and% Pin It Now!

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