Kid's Birthday Party for Under $100

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Here's how to throw a really fun birthday party for an 8-year-old boy for under 100 bucks.

1. Have your son make his list of friends he wants to come party with him - no more than 8 boys or the mom might die.

2. Make an evite. If you are especially skilled and crafty, include a photo of the birthday boy on the actual evite!

2. Get your In-N-Out and donut orders ahead of time so that you are not overwhelmed on the day of the party when you are decorating the house. And by decorating the house I mean strategically placing the two bouquets of birthday balloons that you bought at the party store. Stressful. If you are stumped with balloon placement, here's are some ideas: put one set on the front porch so people know that your house is the place to be and tie the other set on birthday boy's chair at the kitchen table so he know's exactly where to sit. If that is too overwhelming for you, just let them float around the house. I call this "freestyle ballooning" and children of all ages enjoy this because it gives them a really good chance to fight over who gets to punch and drag the balloons around the house.

3 . Be sure that your party favors do not exceed the price of the gift your birthday boy will receive, which is quite common in my neck of the suburbs.

Go here for a tutorial to learn how to make these complicated party favors.

4. As soon as a party guest arrives, hand present to birthday boy so he can open it immediately. Then party guest's mom, who actually paid for and picked out the present, can enjoy the look on birthday boy's face when he opens the gift and says "This is awesome!" or "I already have this."

5. Hand incredible party favor over to the mom of party guest so you won't forget to give it to the kid at the end of the party. And as an added bonus, the mom will be thoroughly impressed with your PFS (party favor skills) and will feel that much more confident entrusting her child with you overnight.

6. Party guest then decides what he wants do do and does it . . .

Wii, DS, Sega Dreamcast, Foos Ball, ping pong, Beyblades, or chess.

7. Have someone go out and pick up the In-N-Out Burger and bring it back to the house.

8. Interrupt boys from their gaming session and have them wash their hands before they come eat in the kitchen. Note: This may be the most difficult part of the party. As little boys are not known for their hand washing abilities.

9. Get the boys going on introductions and have them each talk about their favorite video game. This is where you learn which parents allow their kids to play Call of Duty.

10. After dinner, boys go back to the various activities.

11. At 8:15 PM boys watch a movie. Elijah's choice was Kung Fu Panda 2 when he learned that Steeling Magnolias was off the table. Dad makes popcorn on the Whirly Pop and Elijah passes out a small handful of Bertie Botts Every Flavor Jelly Beans to the boys. No cake because Elijah chose donuts for breakfast over cake after dinner.

12. After movie, boys get ready for bed and cram into the living room. Then the dad comes in to tell some awesome bedtime stories.

13. No more talking by 10:30pm or talker(s) have to sleep in the other room.

14. One boy wakes up way too early and wakes everyone else up. Tell the boys they have to be quiet until 7am. Talkers will be sent to Elijah's room. (Yes, I had to enforce - 2 talking instigators were sent to Elijah's room until 7am and then all was quiet.) 7am - donuts and more gaming for all.

15. Send overtired, oversugared, overscreened boys home at 10am to be crabby all day long for their parents.

Elijah and his friends had a great time and we did this all for under $100! Approx. $15 for balloons, $47 for In-in-Out Burger, $27 for donuts, $8 for the party favors. (We already had the popcorn and Bertie Bots and those were last minute throw ins.) The only thing I would do different is leave town (just me) the next day so I don't have to deal with crabby son.

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A Tutorial: Fancy Party Favors

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Quick tutorial on how to make these amazing party favors:

1. Have birthday boy pick songs he wants to go on a birthday mix. Be prepared to tell him "No, that song is inappropriate even though you heard it at school during the 'Fun Run' or at your friend's house."

2. Once you have created your set list, burn it on to a blank CD. When the you hear a "baloop" sound it means the CD is done burning and you can eject it from your computer!

Did I lose you yet? You okay? Stay with me before you go pinning this.

3. Use a sharpie (I chose blue because it was the first one I saw) to write "Birthday Boy's Party Mix" on the CD.

4. Put the CD in a CD sleeve and tape a pack of gum on top.

BOOM - you have an gorgeous party favor (especially if you have my unique, boy handwriting). But the best part is that it will not be thrown away. Unless the kid is allergic to Kidz Bop or gum.

P.S. I have gotten a lot of positive comments from the parents when I do CD mixes. They pop them in their cars and enjoy the (mostly) good tunes. And if you're like me what goes in the car CD player, stays in the car CD player . . . for years.

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Why I'm Not On Pinterest

Pin It Now! I am not on Pinterest. Because I just don't want to be bombarded with pins, you know?

I have several items that I know would crash the server. Here are the top 10:

1. Our summer bucket list.
How did we create such magic? How are we able to discern what has been crossed off the list and how can we even read it with Jordis's finishing scribble touches?

2. Over-The-Top Reward Chart.
This would be a long step-by-step tutorial. This kind of magic doesn't just happen overnight people. Years of practice.

3. The Screw & Bolt Chandelier.
Who was the genius who put a screw and bolt on our chandelier to dress it up? Can't take credit for that one. It was my husband.


4. Stunning formal Dining Room Decor.
Should we just call this Pin City?


4. My recipe for Elmo Cake.

5. My decor for a Princess, Wedding, Rock Star, Makeup Fifth Birthday Party. No, I did not hire a party planner. I swear, this was all me.

6. My recipe for "Brownies with Melted Plastic."
To die for. Literally.

7. My recipe for a Chia Pet Mold Ball.

8. Custom Bedroom Curtains for Kids

9. What I Wore Wednesday, or something like that.

10. My decor for How to Throw a Party For Boys. Once again. All me. No help from an event planner.

Do you feel me? Don't want to die from OP. OverPinning.

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I Am Crafty!

Pin It Now! You'd think I'd learn my oven lesson from the whole baked plastic incident. But if you saw how little counter space we have you would see that there is no lesson to be learned. Only mold balls to be made.
Don't know how long this beans, rice, and veggie dish lingered in the oven (less than a week) so I cannot tell you exactly how to replicate this Chia Pet Mold Ball. But I can tell you that I was in awe at my crafting abilities when I pulled this bad boy out of the oven.

I'm thinking about adding this Chia Pet Mold Ball to the prizes for my "Bless Your Mom" giveaway. I think it would really accent the FABULOUS necklace Christine at Q Handmade Jewelry is offering. Or if you know Emily Maynard from The Bachelor you could try and steal hers. Here is what she told the Possessionista about her Q Handmade necklace:

Possessionista: What are you obsessing over right now?
Emily Maynard: I have a necklace from Q Handmade that I haven't taken off since it came in the mail! Its so simple but goes with everything (including mold balls!) and has so much meaning behind it. People are always asking me where I got it.

I don't want you obsessing over a necklace, because it is no Chia Pet Mold Ball, but Christine's necklaces are beautiful so check out the selection you would have to choose from (if you enter the Bless Your Mom" giveaway!) over at Q Handmade Jewelry.

This is the style I'm getting with "Desperate" on it. Totally kidding. That would be pretty funny though. I'm getting "Shiloh" (my husband) on it.

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I Don't Need an Interior Decorator

Pin It Now! I've been doing some blog surfing and what I have discovered is that there are a lot crafty and artistically gifted women out there. Who blog about it. And then take and post professional pictures of their remodel, repaint, fancy-pants artwork, bedroom overhaul, professional-looking children's craft, etc. Moreover, they throw out designer words (that I have never even heard of) as if they were every day, common people vernacular. I'm not gonna say names, but you know who you are. And you probably wouldn't be caught dead reading this blog as it might corrupt your design savvy and make your eyes bleed so I am really not sure why I directed that last statement at you. But if by chance you are reading . . . I want you to know that this is a genetic condition. And I actually like looking at your pretty stuff.

Meanwhile, I am busting out kids' bedrooms that look like this. Jealous? It's not that our IKEA stuff didn't work out, it's just those high quality shades are actually behind those blankets doing a great back-up job of keeping the light out. It's not that Shiloh's Grandma's colorful quilt and the Care Bear blanket don't make completely stylish window coverings. Nor am I saying that Shiloh's use of beach towels to block the night light from Jordis is not an obvious decorator's touch. And I am confident that an expresso finished sleigh bed totally coordinates with cinnamon stained baby furniture. And the pseudo matching nightstand from the 1940s does tie it all together . . .

I guess what I am saying is that I would like a better camera.

And if I wanted to have a blog that featured beautiful rooms with coordinated junk and stuff I totally could. I would just have to sell my house over and over again and pay professional stagers and have a professional photographer to take photos. And we would have to move in with my parents to maintain aforementioned designafication (BAM - just used my own designer word!).

P.S. Stop what you are doing and go take photos of your Dirty Minivan. Do not manipulate it's condition. Let it live freely as it does in its everyday life. It's about time for the second annual DMV competition here. If you don't know what I am talking about and have always wanted a rubber chicken . . . check out last year's competition.

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Glitter and Crafts

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Remind me to never use glitter while crafting again. (Sorry Jenny.) My house is like a magical fairyland. Glitter is truly the gift that keeps on giving.

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Funny Sign

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My bloggy friend, Jenny, posted some funny signs on her blog yesterday. It reminded me of this sign found in the labor and delivery room bathroom when I was writhing in "natural" labor pain with Jordis. Bras are contraband. Not even allowed in the room. Or else?

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Honor Your Mom. Please.

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I mentioned in a previous post that I spoke to the Junior Highers and their Moms at my church on Mother's Day. Jay (junior high director) asked me to put something together to encourage the Moms and make them laugh.

So here is what I came up with if you want to check it out...

You can listen to the message at two different places.

 

iTunes

First open up iTunes and then click on this link http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=106699579

Download page (RSS Feed) at http://podcast.fusion.us/xml.php?feed_id=659

And here was my challenge to the junior highers. Jay had this list printed up on cool looking card stock, with a stylish design and handed them out the kids. Feel free to print this out and force your kids to do this challenge even though Mother's Day is long gone.

The "Honor Your Mom for a Week" Challenge 

(Then go back to being a punk? No, No. Relax. That wasn't the implication. I was just trying to give them something short term to focus on. Hoping it would lead to a lifetime of being the perfect kid. And relax again because I didn't put this part on the card.)

1. When your Mom asks you to do something – do it. No complaining. No arguing. No questioning. No delaying.
2. Do it before your Mom asks you to. That might eliminate the need for #1.
3. When your Mom asks you not to do something. Say, “Okay Mom. I know you love me and want what’s best for me. I will not go ask Dad the same question hoping for a different answer.”
4. When she does something that irritates you – hug her or high five her.
5. Say something nice to your Mom every day. Give her a compliment. Affirm her. Encourage her.
6. Every day this week ask your Mom, “How can I help you out today? How can I serve you today?” And don’t crack up when you say these foreign words.
7. Pose for a family photo without making a scowl or a funny face…in every photo. Wear what she asks you to wear for the photo even if it is totally lame.
8. Follow house rules without whining or complaining or comparing to your friends’ house rules that you think are way cooler.
9. Don’t torture your brother or sibling.
10. Listen to your Mom’s wisdom about the importance of choosing your friends wisely.

 Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

 

 

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I won!

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I won a custom made Swine Flu mask from Jenny... and a spray can of glitter. And lest you think the mask is defective, it's not. My girl is just winking. But then she winked too hard and lost her eye. Don't laugh. It could happen to you.
I don't know Jenny, but we seem to have a lot in common and we like each other's blogs. I am not going to tell you that I had to video tape myself eating 30 hot dogs in 60 seconds to win the contest. Because that would be a lie. But I can tell you that my name made it's way out of a hat.

Shiloh thinks I am totally crazy, "Where did you get this? From who? You don't even know her? That's creepy."

But the kids were stoked and both were excited to try on the mask. And they don't think I am crazy... yet.

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Just a Midnight Run to IKEA With the Family

Pin It Now! Shiloh got home from work on Thursday night and said, "Let's make a run to IKEA tonight. They close at 8pm." It was 6:25pm. IKEA is 30 minutes away. Sometimes I am crazy like that and said "Okay. We've got to hustle and the both girls bathed and ready for bed." Especially considering their bed time was only an hour away. At least Elijah was ready. We finally got in the car about 6:45pm. Two minutes into the drive there I had some serious doubts. "Shiloh, let's forget it. Lydia and Jordis will for sure fall asleep on the way there. This is not a good idea."

Shiloh reassured me (but not really).
"That's okay. I'll carry Lydia. I don't know when else we are going to get there. We need to get those curtains so the kids stop waking up so early." We just moved and the new house's blinds do NOT keep the light out. It is completely bright and sunny early in the morning. Lydia and Jordis are waking up early.

Before we even got on the freeway Lydia was asleep. We pulled off at the park and ride (right before the freeway) to locate and deliver Jordis's pacifier to her... because she had thrown it on the ground of the DMV (as usual) and then was crying hysterically. (Does this happen to anyone else?) Then Shiloh had to take care of a work email on his iphone. I thought surely with the loss of precious minutes at parking lot, the clock ticking closer to closing time, the wife not really going now anyway that the Hagen DMV would skip the freeway entrance and go back home. No such luck. Daddy was in a good mood, on a mission, ready for a family adventure. Bless his heart. Momma was in a bad mood, on an unwanted mission, ready for a family disaster. Nevertheless, I knew it was going to make for good blog material. I brought the camera.

We arrived at IKEA at 7:25pm. All of the kids were fast asleep. "That's okay. Kids are resilient." said happy Dad. "They'll be fine." Yeah, I knew they weren't going to die or anything, but waking all of your kids up so they could rush through IKEA? And I knew that I would pay the price the next day when the kids woke up with IKEA hangovers.

When we actually made it from the parking lot to the entrance (about a 12 mile hike) the IKEA lady greeted us, "Just to let you know, the showroom closes in 15 minutes."

"It said online that you close at 8pm."

"That's just the store. The showroom closes at 7:45pm."

"What's the difference?"
"The showroom is upstairs and the store is downstairs."

And off we went - hoping the curtains were in the "store."

We flew through the gigantic show room to find the curtains. Lydia was whining most of the time, "Hold you. I want to go home."

Elijah wanted to stop at every little kid's table to play.

Jordis was okay for the first few minutes, but then began to fuss and whine as it was now feeding time and bedtime.

We found the curtain section and began to search through the cheap and crappily made affordable products.

Grumpy wife questions happy go luck husband, "Shiloh, what size do we need?"

"Shoot, I forgot to measure."

"You have got to be kidding me. You were so gung ho on this and you didn't even measure the windows?"

"It's fine. We can just guess."

Most of the curtains were made out of tissue paper, but we found a few that seemed like they would work.

"The store is now closing." We heard over the loudspeakers more than once.

We made our way to the check out lines (another 12 miles). Shiloh leading the charge with Jordis in his arms looking over his shoulder at me (her food supplier) crying. Lydia was hanging on me continuing her mantra "I wanna go hoooomme."

And Elijah was carrying a trash can ($1.99) filled with some hand towels (picked up on the way to the check out lines) complaining, "Slow down. This is really heavy. I can't keep up."

Tell me you can picture this awesome scene.

Me and the girls head to the car so I can feed Jordis while the boys get the goods. The boys eventually join us and we head home. I can only laugh (or maybe I rolled my eyes - I can't remember) when Shiloh says, "Well, I think that was a successful trip. The kids did fine."

And lest you think this is a long story... it continues.

We get home and put Elijah and Lydia to bed. But Shiloh decides that Jordis's curtain should be hung right away. It's not like 10 month old babies need to get a good night's rest or anything. Jordis stood in her crib and watched happily as Dad hammered away at her wall until 10:30pm.

And the curtain fit perfectly and did its job as Jordis slept about an hour longer than the previous nights.

And yes, that is my cat sniffin' bootie off my other cat. That's how they roll.

The curtains for Elijah and Lydia's room remain in the package, but Shiloh says they are going to work. And he's "the man" so I am sure they will work or he will figure out a way to shrink the window to make it work.

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I Didn't Wear Hose But...

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I might as well have...

Went out for Heather's birthday last night. Pedicures and dinner. I told the girls to dress appropriately. We went back and forth via email about what that looked like. Apparently, I was the only one with the accurate interpretation of what appropriate attire meant. I was limited in my interpretation because all of my... ummm... ridiculous most awesome stuff is packed. But fortunately my Mom has a closet full of good stuff and I raided it. This was the outcome.


Peacock is the new black.

I tried to give Shiloh the run down on the kids before I left, but he literally turned his back on me. He could not handle looking at me as I impersonated my Mom. So if you are wondering what Shiloh made the kids for dinner... blueberry muffins. Shiloh and Elijah had 3 1/2 muffins each. Wonder what he will give the kids next week when I dress up like my Dad. 

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To Hose or Not to Hose

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This morning I actually got out of my pajamas dressed up a little bit... because I had to help out my Mom at work. When Shiloh saw me he said, "Honey your legs are looking pretty white."
First of all, DUH. My legs have been in hibernation for quite some time and I am the fairest in the land.
Secondly, how come nobody ever notices comments on the grassy knolls found on my knees? (Raise your hand if you have perfected the art of shaving your knees? Patch free? How about the straglers down by your ankles? I see. No hands are raised. THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!)

But instead of responding, "Duh," I said, "Maybe I should put on some tanning lotion." As if that works instantly.
My adoring husband said, "How about some pantyhose?"

I am not sure which surprised me more - the fact that he used and knows the word pantyhose or the fact that he suggested that I wear them. I mean, I know I am a desperate Mom, but at which point do I totally hold up the white flag and surrender my youth and vitality? It starts with the pantyhose and then goes into Mom jeans and Christmas sweaters with matching dangly reindeer earrings. Next thing you know I am wearing bright pink lipstick, popping Tums like candy and shopping at Chico's. I have to draw the line at my DMV.

Shiloh pointed out my whiteness to my Mom (who gave me my whiteness AND wears pantyhose) and said "Don't you think she needs some hose with those white legs?"
Mom replied, "I have tanning lotion."
Phew. Thanks Mom.

Sorry for the blinding glare friends, but I will not wear hose. I will not wear hose. I will not wear hose. Yet.



Why the weird poses for the hoses? Cuz I'm crazy like that.

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America's Funniest Mom?

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They never called. They never wrote. I am not the Funniest Mom in America ... at least not officially. But if you think I am, just send me some money and maybe it will amount to the $50K I woulda coulda shoulda won in the contest. Dang it. I was really looking forward to a career in stand-up comedy. The late nights, jeers from the crowd, humiliation, low pay. Wait a minute. That sounds like motherhood. Maybe I already am a stand up comic. Hmm...
Now back to poop. We went to visit my Aunt Leslie and Uncle Mike in Arroyo Grande (central coast) for 2 days. The dog below is their Labradoodle, Stella, in mid-run chasing a frisbee. But doesn't it look like she is pooping?

And there I am in my flannel pajamas for the ride home. Apparently, I only brought one pair of jeans and they got spit up all over them (Thanks Shiloh). This is just how I roll.

P.S. I may not have won America's Funniest Mom, but did you know that I won Time Magazine's "Person of the Year!" Pin It Now!

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Best Dressed

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So I have this thing called "Heart Group." We meet once a month at my house to pray and talk about a few Bible verses. For December I set up a Christmas dinner at a restaurant and told everyone that they had to wear a Christmas sweater. You know the kind...especially if you are a teacher. There would be a prize for "Best Dressed." And guess what? I won! Because only 2 people showed up for the dinner and I was the only one dressed up. Losers. Or maybe I'm the loser. And yes, that is a french braid and turtleneck dicky (I had to look up the name for that thing). Pin It Now!

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