Encouragement for the Motherhood
I sent out an e-mail to some friends that asked them some questions about their moms. These are people I really respect. And I also know and respect their mamas. I am not sure they called their moms “blessed” when they were preschoolers, but they certainly do now.
1. What is your best childhood memory with your mom?
Aaron: For some reason, the one that stuck out the most was that I used to go home from school during lunch when I was six, and I would eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at home. She’d be there making me a sandwich and ask me how school was going. The other is probably watching my mom sing at church when I was a kid—still with a hint of Texas hair, even though we were in California.
Nikko: My best memory is baking with her and helping her clean up (when I was very young). I loved to lick the blender things. When I was a few years older I would have visiting time with her in the sitting area in her room. She had visiting candies. We would chat about life.
Tyler: My mom threw us the best birthday parties. When I was a baby, my parents turned our house into a cardboard castle, made us all swords and shields, and had a jousting tournament in the backyard with bananas. When I was old enough, she put together a cowboy birthday, a 101 Dalmations birthday (including a Milk- Bone “Easter-egg hunt”), and a Toy Story party where we made our own Mr. Potato Heads out of real potatoes.
April: When we were having a hard time calming down for bedtime, my mom would sit in the hallway outside of our rooms and sing and play guitar until we fell asleep. She did this for years.
2. Was she consistent in her discipline? (Hint: Please say no. But if the answer is yes—don’t lie . . . unless your mom taught you to lie.)
Aaron: I can’t really remember my mom letting me get away with a lot, but I don’t remember her coming down on me a lot either. So, I’m sure she was inconsistent throughout the years, but generally she was pretty fair.
Tyler: I feel like theoretically I would have to say no. But honestly, I think she did such a good job raising me and my brothers as three different people that my retrospective feelings of overall fairness kind of drown out any memories of a tyrannous and inconsistent motherhood.
Nikko: Yes, unless I made her really upset, then she would wait until she cooled down to deal with me or she would drive really fast.
April: It took her a few years to figure out what worked for each kid, and then she stuck to it.
3. Did you ever make your mom cry because you were so unruly or disobedient? (When I pushed my mom too far she would say, “I quit. You can go find a new mom.” That was her form of crying.)
Aaron: I can remember her getting upset when my brother and I would fight. Most times she just blew it off as boys being boys, but eventually too much would upset her.
Tyler: In a house full of self-proclaimed funny boys, it was easy for my mom to feel like we always had to get the last word or that we were always trying to outdo her. This made us interrupt her a lot. Sometimes she would just say, “Forget it,” and quit trying to tell us whatever it was she was trying to say. We would then usually get mad at her for giving up (which was totally fair, right?), and sometimes she’d end up telling us and sometimes she wouldn’t.
Nikko: Many, many times. I was a selfish jerk. But now I’m married.
April: I was argumentative. Sometimes I ran her ragged. I had some horrible friends in high school, which upset her a lot.
4. Do you remember any of the special things your mom did for you?
Aaron: My mom used to always give us our birthday dinner on the “special plate,” which was red and said something like “you are special” along the border of the plate. She also used to heat up chocolate chip muffins for me for breakfast.
Tyler: In elementary school, mom used to always write notes on the napkins of my lunches. That evolved into her yelling, “Don’t take drugs!” out of the car window in junior high and making me give her a hug every time I left the house to drive myself in high school. Now she sends me postcards every week or two while I’m down at school. They are full of questions she knows I won’t answer, but I love to read them because it makes me feel like she feels like we’re having a conversation. And that makes me miss her a little less.
Nikko: She cooked me a million meals, bought clothing and school supplies every time I needed them, took us on vacation, made Christmas cookies, prayed for me, always made Christmas special, and always made my birthday special.
April: On our birthdays we had special birthday dishes. She was really good at taking care of me when I was sick. I still want my mom when I’m sick.
5. Did she teach you anything really significant?
Aaron: I think my mom taught me a lot about how to treat others regardless of how they hurt you. She taught me to take the high road, to turn the cheek in love, and to bite my tongue. I learned just to respond well and in love.
Tyler: She taught me that the home you’re in charge of is a powerful thing. It can be a place of abundance and safety and should be shared with anyone who needs to feel those things, especially if their home isn’t as full of love as yours. She taught me to give out of your substance and not out of excess, even if you think the person is annoying. Everyone deserves to be taken care of once in a while, and if you can, then do it.
Nikko: My mom taught me how to sacrifice for someone you love and how to trust the Lord. April: She taught me how to sing. The biggest thing she taught me was something I didn’t realize until I was older—patience and self-control.
How about that? Mom, I remember the meals you made me and the chats we had. Mom, I remember how special you made me feel on my birthday and the way you cared for me when I was sick. Mom, you taught me how to love, how to sacrifice, how to trust God, how to share with those in need. And this was all while I was tormenting my brother, arguing with you, being a jerk, fighting to get the last word, and peeing my pants. (Okay, I had to add that last one because, well, you know.)
TDM, you are making an impact on your children far beyond what you can see. I hope this encourages you as it has encouraged me, because sometimes it is just hard to see beyond the next dirty diaper.
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