The moment you ladies have all been waiting for...
It's time for the Most Cluttered Purse Competition.
Once again - this is a cheat-free blog. Go inventory your purse "as is." No dumping items to make you feel better about yourself and no last grabs to secure your victory. Present your entries to me however you want: link to blog, just photos, photos with commentary, photos with commentary on the photos, etc. Keep in mind, this is an emotional (and very important) competition. You may be judged on presentation of your MCP so don't be sloppy.
And this time there is a legit prize (not that Lorri's chicken was not legit... ummm...like a plastic trophy from T-Ball. Totally Legit.).
And this time there is a legit prize (not that Lorri's chicken was not legit... ummm...like a plastic trophy from T-Ball. Totally Legit.).
Here is the prize for the MCP contest. A cute little makeup bag or small purse (like the winner would ever be able to fit all their clutter/trash into it) and a fancy pen with sparkles. Because every cluttered purse carrying chick needs a shiny and easy to find amidst the chaos pen.
I dumped my purse (should have taken a picture of that heap - I am sure it would have tugged at some heart strings) and then organized my hoopla into the following nonsensical categories:
The Paper Aisle:
1. Two grocery lists from who knows when
2. Two receipts from recent trips to the vet for my cat
3. Two other receipts to undisclosed locations (probably to high end fashion boutiques - have you seen my "Stylin Saturday" posts?)
4. An envelope with a gift card to local restaurant that my Mom gave me
The Snack Aisle:
1. Wrapper from a fruit leather (I am not a litter bug - except in my own MCP or DMV)
2. Bag of dried cranberries (because my kids need cavities)
3. Two packs of gum and some floater pieces (Gotta love the stragglers - especially when you are desperate and it's your last piece. You inspect it - how much dirt/lint does it really have on it? It's only on the tiny little exposed portion, right? Is this a wipeable situation or do I have to chuck it? Tough call. Always a tough call.)
4. Piece of string cheese that has been in my purse for weeks that I have been meaning to throw out in a legitimate trash can
The Health and Beauty Aisle:
1.Chapstick
2.Listick #1 (Totally worthless and used up. (But if I am desperate enough I might be able to dig with my finger and get one last swipe out of it. Nine times. Do you feel me?)
3. Lipstick #2 (All mashed with a chunk stuck to the top. Do I smear the chunk on my lips or simply try to keep applying hoping that chunk stays on top of stick and eventually melds back into stick. Or just avoid it all together because of aforementioned stick issues?)
3. Sampler sanitization wipe in case of emergency (I know what you're thinking DAVE, "Your DMV is an emergency!")
4. Facial sunscreen stick for the kids that I never remember is in there
5. Clothes pin just in case you need to hang
6. Lydia's hairclip with a cat on it (Just in case someone tries to steal you or your purse. Then you flash your kitty clip at them and say, "Don't get me! I am a weird cat lady!")
7. Hand lotion and face lotion
The Other Health And Beauty Aisle:
1. Advil packet (no longer available. My Dad used it last night at the movies.)
2. Spray hand sanitizer & wipe
3. A cute pen
4. A coupon to Whole Foods (It's been in there for a while. Spend $100 and get $20 off. I have not been going there lately for budgetary purposes. But I keep it in case I need a couple of special chicken breasts or a few avacados cuz that's an easy hundy at Whole Paycheck.)
5. A hair rubber band
6. A nail file
The Manicure and Body Design Aisle: (because if I have another Beauty Aisle that would be vain):
1. Cat nail clippers (it goes with the weird cat lady schtick)
2. Another girl hair clip
3. Another lipstick (this one's actually usable)
4. A butterfly tattoo (for obvious reasons)
5. Nail file
The Pens and Wipes and Some Other Stuff Too Aisle:
1. A parenting mag I picked up at the pediatrician the other day. (Thought it might be a good read. Someday. Never.)
2. Bag of wipes - (ALWAYS come in handy)
3. Four pens (jealous?)
4. Two medical insurance cards - one for Jordis and one old one (that is not even valid) for me
5. Kleenex - snot and poop = a big part of my life these days
6. Key to my house on a fraid, gold string
7. Heart stickers -(you never know when you might need these)
The Wallet Aisle:
1.Wallet
2. Coin wallet
3. Business card wallet
4. Notebook
5. Lipgloss/gift card wallet/change keeper
Now it's your turn! Send me your submissions:
wendyhagen@mac.com
Deadline for entries is Sunday, April 26th. 5pm pacific time. Be brave. Be strong. Submit.
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Welcome friends, family, randoms, lurkers, blog addicts, fellow desperate moms, and Bono. This blog consists of mostly funny stuff that will make you feel better about yourself. Lots of mom comedy, non-Kodak moments, and un-fashion tips. On Wednesdays I write about my life as a former childhood actress complete with posts about how the entertainment business works, actors I met (or stalked), people and animals I worked with, my Hollywood friends, and photos of former teen heartthrobs. And if that’s not enough to draw you in to follow me . . . I have done some amazing giveaways. A rubber chicken, millions of doll hairs, and unlimited supplies of air. Come join the party.
8 comments:
Wow Wendy. How big is your purse? That's a lot of crap - I mean STUFF!!! I think you definitely should have taken a picture of the loaded inside & the heap when you dumped it. My purse has been surprisingly sparse lately. I dumped it's contents when I went to mexico in Dec/Jan and haven't really loaded it down again. Disappointing, I know.
Can't wait to see the entrees though! Bring it ladies!
Nu-UH! Yeah, is that crocodile skinned back and ACTUAL crocodile?! Hahaha! I should have done this with my purse yesterday afternoon. I did a half-a** purge last night... or did I. Hmm. I still will look under-prepared compared to your stash!
wow wendy!
you are like a superwoman. how do you have time to update this thing so much and create stellar contests! you amaze me! (:
T - I have time because I rarely clean out my purse or my dirty minivan. Plus, we have been cableless for over 6 months now. More time for the blogaliciousness.
dagn, girl, I am ashamed to even enter, my purse looks like a coin purse compared to the suitcase you must have! :) I'll see what I can do...
Seriously, you keep all this stuff in your purse? I'll see you in a few years for neck pain. . .
TL,
It's all in my purse or my DMV. Always prepared. My dad used the advil at the movies the other night. Stickers were used at lunch the other day. Wipes used all the time. Four pens? Okay so i need to unload a few. Jenny, I usually carry a crocodile in my purse, too. But I just purged him.
This is hilarious. I will document my hoopla later today and submit! :)
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