She Would Have Been Nine

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Tomorrow our firstborn Faith would have been nine years old. Every year on her birthday we have a family day remembering her. Sometimes we go to the cemetery where she was buried. Sometimes we don't. Sometimes I'm in a funk a few days before. Sometimes on her birthday. Some years are better than others. I shared her story three times in the past 10 days when I spoke at a women's Christmas event and at MOPS groups. So Faith has been on my mind and heart a lot lately.

Today I was in a funk. Meanwhile, real life goes on. Laundry never goes away and my three little ones were driving me crazy. Shiloh was working so one of my college kids (we have a weekly college/young adults life group at our house) came over and played with the kids while I took a nap. So thankful. Thank you Dani. I love naps. Especially on days like this.

Tonight after church Elijah felt sick and puked for an hour before we could finally head home. Then he puked in the car some more (in a bag - hooray!). And then got home and puked some more. I've had to change his sheets twice in the last hour. I am hoping he is done for the night and feels better tomorrow. I am thankful he didn't puke during church or unexpectedly in the car. I am thankful that we have a washing machine. I am thankful that we have a car and a nearby grocery store. I am now stocked with Gatorade, bananas, bread, crackers, and Spy Kids 3 for when he can handle that action.

I guess our Faith family day will be hanging out at home. I am thankful we have a fireplace and a heater because I like warmth and it has been chilly in Nor Cal lately.

I wrote a song that my brother put music to and sang at Faith's memorial. Here it is . . . a few of your will relate to it. Death, puking, and a song that might make you cry. I guess you'll have to go read some of my other posts for a laugh today :)

Heaven Holds You

I remember the day we found out you were coming

I remember the day we found out you’d be gone

And each day now I wonder when you’re going

And some days I am barely holding on


But I know the God who created you

I know the God who wants to make you whole

I know the God who awaits you

And I know that heaven is your home


So for now I cherish each movement that tells me that you’re okay

And for now I cling to our Savior, who walks me through each day


You will always be our precious firstborn,

The one Daddy waited on for years

The one who Mommy hoped for

And someday you’ll wipe away our tears


Heaven awaits you

This was never really your home

Heaven awaits you

And there you will be healed

Though Mom and Dad will miss you… someday they will join you

Heaven awaits you


I will remember the time we shared with you

I will remember the time you slipped away

And now I know who is holding you

And giving me strength to carry on


I know the God who has rescued you

I know the God who has healed you

I know the God who now cradles you

But now a part of us is gone


Faith, we will always cherish you & we know that you’re okay

Now we’re desperate for our Savior, to carry us through each day


You will always be our precious firstborn

The one Daddy waited on for years

The one who Mommy hoped for

And someday you’ll wipe away our tears


Heaven holds you

Now you’ve made it home

Heaven holds you

And now you are healed

Though Mom & Dad miss you … someday they will join you

Heaven holds you


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