Elijah says, "Dirty cars... they're so funny and gross." (But what he actually said FIRST was, "Put a scarf on your butt booty." Reliving a previous post. And then Lydia copied him and they cracked up.)
Husband says, "If you have time to put your makeup on, you should clean your freakin' cars!"
Wendy says, "It literally takes me 2 minutes to put on my makeup... on the days I get out of my robe I have some free time, me time. It takes a lifetime to clean a Dirty Minivan."
Meet the DMV Finalists!!!
Your car is so dirty you need a whole blog post (or five!) ... those are not fighting words or anything. Consider it a compliment from one proud parent of an honor roll DMV to another.
Your car is so dirty you need a whole blog post (or five!) ... those are not fighting words or anything. Consider it a compliment from one proud parent of an honor roll DMV to another.
Click on the contestants name to be directed to their blog post featuring their DMVs.
Blog Contestant #1:
Lori Steer:
Mother of three. She says her DMV smells a lot worse then it looks. She has a scratch and sniff feature on her blog so perhaps you could take a whiff and give her some bonus points for the stench. You also will be inspired by her faith as she battles Breast cancer.
Blog Contestant #3:
Pin It Now!
Lori Steer:
Mother of three. She says her DMV smells a lot worse then it looks. She has a scratch and sniff feature on her blog so perhaps you could take a whiff and give her some bonus points for the stench. You also will be inspired by her faith as she battles Breast cancer.
AND she donated the grand prize squeaky and sanitized chicken toy (as seen on her blog) displayed by Lydia. It will make a great lifetime accessory to any DMV.
Blog Contestant #2:
Sara Terpstra:
Blog Contestant #2:
Sara Terpstra:
Mother of three. In the process of adopting a baby girl from China. This is a good one... (compliment, total compliment)
Blog Contestant #3:
Now for the non-blog submissions -
Contestant # 4:
Cami Terpstra :
Mother of three with one on the way. They live on a huge plot of land, with a tiny little house. I think her car is her extra closet. (Compliment. Feel the compliment.)
Contestant #5:
Sarah Melvin:
Mother of two. RECENTLY cleaned out her car after receiving death threats having a heart to heart about it with her husband. She was forced encouraged to come up with a system for keeping her car clean.
In her own words ...
"Okay, I SO have the gene! Just two short days after my "system" began, the car is regaining it's normalcy.
Don't fight it sister.
The system was supposed to be: I would keep a bag of grocery bags in the car. At the end of each ride or each day, all the trash and food scraps would be bagged and thrown. (This has not gone down as planned.) We have also started a, "pick one toy to bring in the car today" policy. This has been pretty successful. The kids like the control of picking something different each day and they feel more responsible for taking it back in the house when we get home.
Good for you Sarah, you found ONE thing that worked.
Two days after the system began, there is snack food ground into the floor, seats and mats, a crust of a peanut butter and honey sandwich on the floor (most likely stuck to the mat), a day old juice box spill on the middle seat, two gum wrappers, a juice box straw and an old reciept holding a chewed piece of gum on the middle console, snotty tissues on the floor (yep, that is really gross), an old pelligrino bottle and my bag of bags for all the garbage! ...that is not to leave out the box of kleenexes, notices from school and last weeks art project."
Nice try, Sarah. I applaud you for your efforts. Face the facts. You are a DSUVer lifer.
Contestant #6:
Jenn Murphy (Danville Jenn Murphy, not Bako Jenn Murphy):
As she puts it ...
"I had to share this pic with you because if you notice there are ABC flashcards all over the floor. The kids got those flashcards at a B-day party THREE WEEKS AGO. After we left the party the kids opened the flashcards and threw them all over the floor (like any well behaved children would). Well, the cards have sat on the floor for about three weeks now. Also, you will notice all the food crumbs on the floor...my kids will never be hungry on the road, they can always find a cracker or an old fry to munch on. :)"
Contestant #7:
Melissa Larson:
Mother of Two. Kudos for the thorough picture submission. Total over achiever.
Contestant #8:
Kristin Lineberry:
Mother of three with one on the way. They live on a huge plot of land, with a tiny little house. I think her car is her extra closet. (Compliment. Feel the compliment.)
Contestant #5:
Sarah Melvin:
Mother of two. RECENTLY cleaned out her car after
In her own words ...
"Okay, I SO have the gene! Just two short days after my "system" began, the car is regaining it's normalcy.
Don't fight it sister.
The system was supposed to be: I would keep a bag of grocery bags in the car. At the end of each ride or each day, all the trash and food scraps would be bagged and thrown. (This has not gone down as planned.) We have also started a, "pick one toy to bring in the car today" policy. This has been pretty successful. The kids like the control of picking something different each day and they feel more responsible for taking it back in the house when we get home.
Good for you Sarah, you found ONE thing that worked.
Two days after the system began, there is snack food ground into the floor, seats and mats, a crust of a peanut butter and honey sandwich on the floor (most likely stuck to the mat), a day old juice box spill on the middle seat, two gum wrappers, a juice box straw and an old reciept holding a chewed piece of gum on the middle console, snotty tissues on the floor (yep, that is really gross), an old pelligrino bottle and my bag of bags for all the garbage! ...that is not to leave out the box of kleenexes, notices from school and last weeks art project."
Nice try, Sarah. I applaud you for your efforts. Face the facts. You are a DSUVer lifer.
Contestant #6:
Jenn Murphy (Danville Jenn Murphy, not Bako Jenn Murphy):
As she puts it ...
"I had to share this pic with you because if you notice there are ABC flashcards all over the floor. The kids got those flashcards at a B-day party THREE WEEKS AGO. After we left the party the kids opened the flashcards and threw them all over the floor (like any well behaved children would). Well, the cards have sat on the floor for about three weeks now. Also, you will notice all the food crumbs on the floor...my kids will never be hungry on the road, they can always find a cracker or an old fry to munch on. :)"
Contestant #7:
Melissa Larson:
Mother of Two. Kudos for the thorough picture submission. Total over achiever.
Contestant #8:
Kristin Lineberry:
Mother of three. She has been working hard since my contest announcement. Simply put,
"Keep in mind that Scott just cleaned the car right before you announced the contest."
Photo #1:
Front seat. (Sorry about the sun glare) I'm pretty sure that is a random white shirt of Jack's that he took off when he was too hot. And those are a couple of gum drops stuck to it. On the seat is Anna's St. Patrick's day crown from Kindergarten. The plate has some gooey marshmallow on it that Ella insisted on bringing in the car one morning when we took the big kids to school. Haven't had enough free hand time to take it out yet. On the floor: random bags, school papers, water bottle, and ? And in the cup holder more empty water bottle and Burger King toy.
Photo #2:
Backseat. Just the usual random jackets, sweatshirts, socks, trash, baby wipes, and another Burger King toy. Oh and a lone Wheat Thin.
Contestant #9:
Christina Johnson:
Mother of one with one on the way. I can't read her little notes. She may resubmit bigger notes later. But she did want you to note the sanitizing hand wipes (I cannot even figure out where they are) because she says it is essential to always be hygienic in our DMVs. Or in her case a TT.
"Keep in mind that Scott just cleaned the car right before you announced the contest."
Photo #1:
Front seat. (Sorry about the sun glare) I'm pretty sure that is a random white shirt of Jack's that he took off when he was too hot. And those are a couple of gum drops stuck to it. On the seat is Anna's St. Patrick's day crown from Kindergarten. The plate has some gooey marshmallow on it that Ella insisted on bringing in the car one morning when we took the big kids to school. Haven't had enough free hand time to take it out yet. On the floor: random bags, school papers, water bottle, and ? And in the cup holder more empty water bottle and Burger King toy.
Photo #2:
Backseat. Just the usual random jackets, sweatshirts, socks, trash, baby wipes, and another Burger King toy. Oh and a lone Wheat Thin.
Contestant #9:
Christina Johnson:
Mother of one with one on the way. I can't read her little notes. She may resubmit bigger notes later. But she did want you to note the sanitizing hand wipes (I cannot even figure out where they are) because she says it is essential to always be hygienic in our DMVs. Or in her case a TT.
As she says,"TT pictures (trashed truck), as I'm now scootin' around the LBC in an oh-so-user-friendly Ford F150. I warn you - this is not pretty. The front seat is clean, but the back seat is really even worse than I realized."
Keep your chin up sister. Be not ashamed.
Contestant #10:
Michelle Schrock:
Now this one is in it's own special category because it is TOTALLY AWESOME on so many levels. First of all, it does totally look like a casino. I mean, where can you find that? If she didn't live in Japan I would so be down with "Minivan Swap" with Michelle. Forget Bunko, we would have ladies' poker nightat my house in my van.
In the words of Michelle...
"Here in the tropical lushness of Okinawa, Japan I got ROACHES in my van! I am not even afflicted with DMV, unless my DH spends more than about 5 min in my van. I am an OCDer and try in futility to keep up with the losing battle of kid mess. My van was barely dirty, a few Cheereos and a chicken nugget here or there, and during the rainy season the darn bugs just moved in and started repopulating. It was super nasty, roaches of all sizes hiding everywhere. Every time you opened the doors to get in or moved something inside you could see them scurrying all over. I could not even ride in it at night without getting the heebie geebies. I about had a nervous breakdown. Even worse, my neighbor told me that if you don’t get rid of the roaches they will attract some sort of poisonous spider that will move in to your car as well. It will turn into some crazy insect party/smorgasbord. (Ewww! Itching now as I recall!) Apparently this is a normal phenomenon here."
And second, it fills up with roaches and deadly spiders! Who needs toys and entertainment for the kids when you've got the Lindsay Wildlife Museum in your car! In addition to making some cash at the black jack table this sweet ride could double as the neighborhood timeout location. "Listen little Robby, if you don't behave you are going to sit in the Shrock minivan with roaches and poisonous spiders!" Oh how I love this OCD DMV.
Keep your chin up sister. Be not ashamed.
Contestant #10:
Michelle Schrock:
Now this one is in it's own special category because it is TOTALLY AWESOME on so many levels. First of all, it does totally look like a casino. I mean, where can you find that? If she didn't live in Japan I would so be down with "Minivan Swap" with Michelle. Forget Bunko, we would have ladies' poker night
In the words of Michelle...
"Here in the tropical lushness of Okinawa, Japan I got ROACHES in my van! I am not even afflicted with DMV, unless my DH spends more than about 5 min in my van. I am an OCDer and try in futility to keep up with the losing battle of kid mess. My van was barely dirty, a few Cheereos and a chicken nugget here or there, and during the rainy season the darn bugs just moved in and started repopulating. It was super nasty, roaches of all sizes hiding everywhere. Every time you opened the doors to get in or moved something inside you could see them scurrying all over. I could not even ride in it at night without getting the heebie geebies. I about had a nervous breakdown. Even worse, my neighbor told me that if you don’t get rid of the roaches they will attract some sort of poisonous spider that will move in to your car as well. It will turn into some crazy insect party/smorgasbord. (Ewww! Itching now as I recall!) Apparently this is a normal phenomenon here."
And second, it fills up with roaches and deadly spiders! Who needs toys and entertainment for the kids when you've got the Lindsay Wildlife Museum in your car! In addition to making some cash at the black jack table this sweet ride could double as the neighborhood timeout location. "Listen little Robby, if you don't behave you are going to sit in the Shrock minivan with roaches and poisonous spiders!" Oh how I love this OCD DMV.
Click on the contestants name to be directed to their blog post featuring their DMVs.
Blog Contestant #1:
Lori Steer:
Mother of three. She says her DMV smells a lot worse then it looks. She has a scratch and sniff feature on her blog so perhaps you could take a whiff and give her some bonus points for the stench. You also will be inspired by her faith as she battles Breast cancer.
Blog Contestant #3:
Lori Steer:
Mother of three. She says her DMV smells a lot worse then it looks. She has a scratch and sniff feature on her blog so perhaps you could take a whiff and give her some bonus points for the stench. You also will be inspired by her faith as she battles Breast cancer.
AND she donated the grand prize squeaky and sanitized chicken toy (as seen on her blog) displayed by Lydia. It will make a great lifetime accessory to any DMV.
Blog Contestant #2:
Sara Terpstra:
Blog Contestant #2:
Sara Terpstra:
Mother of three. In the process of adopting a baby girl from China. This is a good one... (compliment, total compliment)
Blog Contestant #3:
That was the mother load post. If you were so brave (and totally awesome and cool) enough to peruse through the whole thing... IT IS TIME TO VOTE! Here are the rules:
There are no rules. Just post a comment with your vote. If you want to vote more than once - I don't care. If you want to vote for yourself (more than once) - good for you. If you believe it you can achieve it. If you want to hire family and friends to support your filth - I'm all for it. Set your eyes on that fabulous grand prize and cross your fingers (or rig the competition). Runners up will receive an all expense paid trip to Fresno.
Polling places will close in one week -Thursday night, March 26th. NO cheating... unless you really want to.
Welcome friends, family, randoms, lurkers, blog addicts, fellow desperate moms, and Bono. This blog consists of mostly funny stuff that will make you feel better about yourself. Lots of mom comedy, non-Kodak moments, and un-fashion tips. On Wednesdays I write about my life as a former childhood actress complete with posts about how the entertainment business works, actors I met (or stalked), people and animals I worked with, my Hollywood friends, and photos of former teen heartthrobs. And if that’s not enough to draw you in to follow me . . . I have done some amazing giveaways. A rubber chicken, millions of doll hairs, and unlimited supplies of air. Come join the party.
