Thursday, March 12, 2009

An Update on the DMV competition

Pin It Now! Sounds like the competition might be pretty fierce out there so please get your pics to me ASAP. The stakes are high. In fact, I just got a donated prize (is it a donation if you ask for it?). I am not going to tell you that it is a rubber chicken that comes from one of my friend's cars because then you might be tempted to cheat.

I found a few items in the front two rows that were not photographed in my previous photo shoot so I collected them for you to add to my collage. Did you know If you have rubber/squeaky animals left in your car it is a sign of intelligence? And the reason I didn't document my third row of seats or the trunk is ... it was too much to blog. It would be more like a book.

Several of you have expressed concern over the fairness of the competition saying you JUST cleaned out your car the other day ... because you had to drive for a field trip, your husband threatened to harm you, you went on a vacation, you had dead rats beneath your trunk, etc. To that I say "Whatever." I will give you guys a week to get back to your normal state of affairs (AKA your dirty, trashy, cluttered vehicular lifestyle) and then you can email me your pics. Okay, so I just made a deadline. The deadline to submit your filth is Thursday, March 19th. 6pm.

Others of you are just plain car OCDers. You don't even know what it's like to drive a cluttered car, I mean an authentic and natural car. Speaking of OCD, I want to be clear. This DMV thing is a genetic disorder so don't go getting on your high horse about how spotless your car is. Pharisees! We DMVers cannot help ourselves.

I inherited this gene from my Mom. And by the way, I just threatened to come take pictures of her car and enter her in the competition. She said, "Oh no. No. Don't do that. You better not do that. No. No." You bet I'm doing it. She will be a STRONG (and unwilling) competitor and she doesn't even have young children. Even if she tried to cheat by cleaning it up, she would still be a contender. It's that bad. These are my genes, friends. These were the cards I was dealt. She passed these dominant genes along to both of my brothers as well. My Dad really doesn't fit into the family with his OCD ways. The ADD genes are apparently way more dominant. They say you marry someone like your Dad... let's just say that Shiloh doesn't have a chance in this competition.

Now let's take a look at what the LOSERS are saying:

"I have to admit you are right...I am not eligible... However, I have let things slide more since my ole college days but I still love my car clean and cleaned out:)
Why is there no booby prize for the cleanest?"
Your prize is your clean car. I bet that feels good and fun and yet boring. Enjoy it.

"ok not cool! i just did a major overhaul on mine and it took me three days to complete and i "found that smell" and my car acutally looks good!"
Bonus points to you for "finding that smell" and glad to hear it wasn't permanent. If it took you three days to clean, I am sure it will be competition ready within two days. Look forward to your submission.

"I wish it was last week because I could have sent you pictures even more awesomely dirty than yours. But my husband got fed up and cleaned my DMV this weekend. I challenge you to pick up the car seats and boosters and document what you find wedged in, around, and under THEM. :)"
God bless your husband. Sometimes they get to a point where "THEY JUST CAN'T HANDLE IT" anymore. And yes, the Hagens have gotten to that point. And as far as underneath the car seats - if those things weren't such a PAIN to install (especially Elijah's Regent AKA the hugest car seat in the world) I'd gladly document that crud. The booster goes in and out so I don't think there is much action under there.

"This is so not fair. My old car would have won hands down. But since I got my new car I am trying to turn over a new leaf... a cleaner one. There is NO eating in the car and no bringing anything (toys, books, you name it) with us in the car. And as you saw at the bday party there were not any coats in the car either. I may have to change that rule and leave some warmer clothes in the back. haha"
Best of luck to you. Like I said, it's a gene or rather a genetic disorder. I'll give you a month and then that food/toy rule is gonna be toast. And you will have toast on your floor.

"Not only did you make me laugh, but after I took the tour of your DMV I felt a LOT better about myself. A lot. Thank you. "
I keep telling myself, "That is NOT an insult. That is NOT an insult. You're good enough. You're smart enough. Your car is not clean enough."

Actually, for those of you who have followed my blog for a while you'll know that one of my goals is to make others feel better about themselves. And I apologize for the ever popular delay on "The Hagens' Worst Pictures of 2008" post. I need to work on that one. But if you are feeling down, revisit the
Hagens' Bad Pics '07 or '06 and you'll be sure to get a little self-esteem boost. On me. You can thank me NOW.

Pin It Now!


Lorri said...

I have another idea...there's this one teacher at the middle school whose car could blow this competition out of the water. Perhaps I'll snap a few discrete photos tomorrow after school...

Wendy Hagen said...

Do it Lorri. Someone at preschool told me the same thing. She is going to photograph a friends' car. And next up - purses.

Meghan said...

Hmmm I just cleaned my car but I am thinking that my Mom could possibly be the dark horse in this competition if I can get some pics from her. After a week of dogs in her SUV and you could have your own discovery channel show in that thing.

Wendy Hagen said...

oh man, all kinds of new categories can sprout from this. Meghan, your mom and my mom will be neck and neck. You must get some pics.

Amy said...

I will totally win the purse contest! Bring it on!

I should be a little embarrassed about being such a strong competitor in these twisted competitions, dontcha think?