Tuesday, June 02, 2009

My Big Meltdown

Pin It Now! So you heard the late night IKEA story? Add that story to the disappearing Disneyland reservation and you get the first two ingredients of the Totally Desperate Mom MBD (mental breakdown day).

At about 10:30pm (just after the curtains were hung in Jordis's room) Shiloh realized he needed to call Disneyland to book our BIG, once in a lifetime Disneyland trip. You know the kind where you go to So Cal just for Disneyland? The kind you where you stay at a Disneyland hotel and go to the parks for several days? The trip that every kid longs for and remembers forever until he forgets? The exciting adventure where the Mom pays millions of dollars to push around the youngest child in a stroller? This was that trip.
This was the trip we had spent a lot of time planning and figuring out where we would stay, when we would go (coordinating with Shiloh's family), etc. We had made the reservation last week, but had to pay for it all by Thursday night. Also known as IKEA night. Shiloh did not remember to make the call until it was too late. The reservation line closed at 8pm. There was nothing we could do. Reservation cancelled. Vanished into that happiest place on earth. The dates we had reserved were no longer available thank you very much. Bummer. The next morning we decided to rebook the trip, but on different days. This time we would be securing the "whatever you do, don't go there on a Saturday or Sunday" package deal. It is still going to be an awesome, blogworthy trip and we look forward on blowing our life savings to catch a glimpse of some real life princesses and jedis.

After the IKEA overnighter it was no surprise that the next morning the kids were a bit of a mess. Fighting about everything, bad attitudes, disobedient, etc. Clearly one of three "S" words was in effect - sugar, shows and (lack of) sleep. Mom was tired too.

Did I mention we had just moved into a new house 3 days prior? Boxes and stuff everywhere. I know my DMV looks chaotic, but I don't like my house to look like that. But that's okay because my girlfriend was going to watch the two older kids so I could get some unpacking done. I was going to drop them off at her house (down the street) at 9:30am and she would keep them until after lunch.

Shiloh: "Hun, I need to borrow your car so I can get the rest of your stuff from your parents' house. (We stayed there while our house was on the market.)"
TDM: "Well, I need my car to take the kids to Marissa's house."
Shiloh: " You didn't tell me you were taking them there. I need to use the van to load up stuff that won't fit in my car."
*Keep in mind that Shiloh has been working a ton the last few months. The movers came and went on Tuesday and then he was home late most nights. Not really available to able help with the unpacking. It was a surprise (and it would have been a pleasant one had he not been putting a damper on my childcare arrangement) that he was going to take a day off!
TDM: "Can you be back in an hour so I can take the kids then?"
Shiloh: "Maybe. We'll just see how long it takes."

I really thought it would be a 10am drop off at the latest. That would still give me 2 1/2 hours to get stuff done. I needed those 2 1/2 hours. I longed for them. I dreamed of them. They were unexpectedly taken from me. By the time he returned and unloaded my car and reloaded the three car seats (does anyone feel my three car seat pain?) it was 11am. Jordis was now up from her nap. I had 30 minutes before I had feed her. I got a solid 20 minutes of unpacking done.

But at least my kitchen was mostly put away and pretty clean (from previous efforts). I needed one space like that. Shiloh made the mistake of bringing in several bags from his trip and put them on the kitchen counter. That bugged. But he pushed TDM over the top when he put this dirty part from Lydia's Dora bike on the clean kitchen counter.

"Find a happy place, Wendy. Find a happy place." I said to myself. That was my happy place, dang it!
I let Shiloh know of his violation, "Hun, can you please NOT put dirty bike parts on the kitchen counter? I am trying to keep it somewhat clean and uncluttered in there." And yes, my tone was not sweet and gentle. He could tell that I was off my game and was smart enough not to respond with, "What's wrong with you fatty? You have nothing to be upset about Miss Basket Case."

In the meantime, my trying to be helpful Dad loaded up his car and dropped off another load of our valuables. Fantastic more stuff to put away. Shiloh left to go video our old house so we could show the kids when they get older and more obedient. I don't know exactly what it was while he was gone that pushed me over the edge, but it happened. It was the pinnacle of the MBD. Just too much on TDM's plate. Too overwhelmed. I called Shiloh on his cell, "Shiloh I need you to come home as soon as possible." Then came the quiver and the tears. "I am about to have a nervous breakdown!" Baby Jordis crying in the background for who can remember why. "Okay hun. I will hurry and finish up and then come home." He rushed through the rest of his footage and came home. At which point I had calmed down a bit. I was able to share all my stress and frustration with him. He listened. He gave support. I felt better.
And now I was off to get Elijah to a birthday party by 3pm. After I dropped off Elijah I had 10 minutes to stop at the Bittersweet Chocolate Cafe to have a little... time with the Lord. Seriously. A chocolate peanut butter milkshake appeared in front of me as well, but my main goal was to hear from the Lord. I brought my Bible Study and was expectant knowing that God had something to say to me on my MBD. This post is already way too long so I will let you know what happened on another post. But let me just say that God is hilarious.
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brenda Madsen said...

Oh Sweet Wendy. Once again, you did not disappoint! Can't wait to hear what God said. I need to go to Bittersweet Cafe to hear from Him.

Marcus Gun said...

My dear friend, we have all been there. Thanks for sharing your chaos, stress, and your heart. But how can you leave us hanging like that at the end? What are you - an episode of Desperate Housewives? 24? I need to hear what God said.